fighting

the feeling of being battered after battles, hurt and wounded after countless of near-death encounters, tired from the days of fighting and without seeing the sun.

enemies raging towards you in triumph roars of victory, sounds of carriages and stomping of horses, grounds breaking and shaking as giants like Goliath stomps with each step, thunder clasping in the sky and everywhere you turn is dark with the armour of theirs. there is no light for you.

seeing the scene of you being surrounded by the enemies all-round. the only way to escape is to fight through for an opening or be left dead by the enemies.
either you choose to live, or to give up and suffer under the hands of your enemies.

as you fight, enemies come charging more ferociously than ever. with each slay of your sword, another enemy appears. with each block of your shield, he hits more fiercely, wanting to thump your shield.
as the sword gets blunt and unable to slay, as the shield gets dented and breaks appear, you are left with your bare hands to fight. every punch and kick lands a dramatic blow onto the enemy and he falls. yet, many more are coming.

you are hurt, pierced by the staffs that looks like pythons with evil eyes, slashed by swords that yearns for your blood, bruised by the punches that wants to crush you like an ant, deafened with roars as loud as thunder.

tiredness sets in, desperation to breathe, stop everything and cry increases. fear sets in, hope diminishes. And someone whispered into your ear, "Why don't you give up? Why try? Once you throw in the white towel, everything will stop. You will be released from your pain."


sounds familiar to some?

what will you do when you go through such a trial?
Give up?
Continue to fight, hoping up till the last breath someone comes to kill the enemies in one swipe, up till your very last breath?

rising above situations

in a situation where faith is challenged, that's when the outcome is decided at the point of decision making. To work on the faith, release it or to lose it and give up.

With dreams and visions coming for you, it is often inevitable that it can be big, too big for us but it can be reached and fulfilled. All it takes is a bit of faith and self confidence to reach out for that dream or vision and make it truly ours.

through Him, even the most difficult task can be the easiest as long as you believe. :)

impatience, anxiety, fear, low self-esteem. all these are none but by-products of the journey we go through. throw it aside! Move on, rock on, shake on! Exciting life on the way! woohoo!

the new season started 3 weeks ago, when someone spoke a dream, a target into my life.

since then probably things had changed, my weaknesses start to surface and this time, rather than sinking it through it was reflected right onto me and i could just identify it in the instant. perhaps He's telling me that I should work on those things as I go on.

time is short. but a lot of things to be done. when potential's fully unlocked, nothing really can stop what's to come for Him.

very blessed this few weeks coz' of friends that ard me who's always there to support and make my life so 'random' but fun? haha...

i just saw a new meaning to where i am in this ministry because the relationships had blessed me so, so much! :)

cheers!

no matter what they say, I will always stand by You.

~ Keep on, Keeping on.

no matter what they say, I will always stand by You.

~ Keep on, Keeping on.

there is never the issue of time not being enough. we set the deadline, we set how much time we need to accomplish something.

it is always about the heart wanting to make use of the time we had allocated to accomplish the task by the deadline.

time constantly runs. the factor is only ourselves.

yesterday had a fun time fellowshipping with one of the great racers I've seen in the ministry and for God. shared and crapped on a lot of things but one which hit me was this: The Great Commission.

As the verse says:

Matthew 28:19-20 (NKJV)

¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

So he was asking me what was the great commission all about and my answer was really about making disciples. For you to make disciples, you have to start loving them, care for them and build relationships. And it needs to be cultivated to be a lifestyle.
Ministry is just another platform or a word for most of us to serve in a different arena for God but looking at the whole picture, all things lies down to the basics and it's really making disciples and building relationships. If you are serving in the ministry to exercise and grow your talent, to help out in other areas of the ministry, it's fine. But will all these count if we start to lose the passion for people?
And loving them ain't just asking them how they are doing, week in and out but it's deep down fellowship of wanting to bless each other, to teach each other what we learnt etc...
It did hit me in the back, reminding me as I'm more into ministry, I shouldn't sink too deep and forget about the essence of the entire organisation: people (be it ushers or members or friends).

So i'm pretty gladful for the peeps that had been in my life and their presence makes the difference! :)
Well, that's what friends are for! :)

till next time~~~ :P

Gen 28:10-22 (Jacob's Vow at Bethel)

This falls in the time when Jacob was on his way towards Haran and as the sun had set, he found himself a resting ground and as he slept, he dreamt of God in the heavens with the angels singing and dancing before him.
That's when God had revealed and promised Jacob things similar to what He had promised Abraham in his days as quoted in v13-15: "And behold, the LORD stood above it and said: "I am the LORD God of Ahraham your father and the God of Issac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and your descendents. "Also your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread abroad to the west and the east, to the north and the south; and in you and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed. "Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you."
As Jacob woke up after that dream (which he found it too amazing to be true still), he anointed, dedicated the place to God and proclaimed God as his LORD God (v21).

I was just writing this summary of that portion of the book.. I won't say it's really random but I was feeling down quite a few minutes ago and God just pointed me to this passage. Pretty cool, coz' from the dream God had given Jacob, from Jacob's point of view it might had been big and had probably questioned himself if it could really be done. People around him had done so but there were still doubts in his heart if it could really be accomplished.
I think I'm quite like Jacob in this case where I think some dreams are a bit too big to accomplish and with the setbacks around, I tend to think if it was the right route for me though He had blessed it for me. Otherwise I will be thinking if I'm the right person for the right job coz' there hasn't been any remarkable results for myself and I seem to be dragging the other people down. Surely if it's from God things should had been more progressive than this right?
(P.S. the above are the thoughts I had, they do not composite to anything more than thoughts)

Then as I was typing, God revealed the word 'time' to me. Time is an indication, a measurement for us to guage in terms of us doing things, or waiting for a matter of fact. As quoted from http://dictionary.reference.com, time (noun) refers to the following:

• duration regarded as belonging to the present life as distinct from the life to come or from eternity; finite duration.
• a particular period considered as distinct from other periods

Time is finite, means it is measurable. And from the time someome promises us something to the time the promise is fulfilled, it is considered a period. And usually during this period there are processes involved in having that promise fulfilled, with external factors involved as well. So I sort of got this revelation that feeling down, getting anxious etc are all part of this process in this period of time. They don't mean the end!
It just means to continue walking, walking, and walking, doing what is necessary until the time the promise is fulfilled. Similarly to Jacob again, it took a period of time before the promise was fulfilled for him and who said that walking with God is like a bed of roses? Haha!
But the key point I'm getting is continue to rely on God no matter how good or bad things are, coz in the point of dedication of ourselves to God, it means we are willing to consecrate ourselves to God and believing for the promise He had given us to come through.

Amen~~

Oh man i sounded like i was preaching.. back to work.. haha.. *hope it's not considered too random for someone, haha*

it kills to be sick.. dun like being sick... haiz....

i dun like falling sick seriously... waking up with headaches and it's never a fun thing seriously...

feel like knocking my head against the wall at times but thank God I don't! Haha!!

this wk so far had been fun!

Sat had fellowship with CG in PS and celebrated Mel's bday. Pretty fun of how we sabotaged her but a bit too quick to do it. Haha.. Followed by Starbucks till 2.15am. o.O I think this cg is good at this, hanging out at starbucks till wee hours! but it's fun! haha.. crappy jokes on how Roy never washes his jeans till 3 months later etc, oops! But going home at that timing means 3 hrs of slp before ministry the next day... Haha but it's worth it! :)

Sun was ministry and it was like a bit of mess but thank God for people standing in the gap, but it's like the best day for me personally. Felt that day was the start of a greater breakthrough in the department personally as I'm on the way to change someone's life. Not talking about who but I'm really seeing changing a person through discipleship, one by one. To personally impact them and train them up to be as good or better than me! Though the effects are not great as it is to one, but it is something. Guess i'm discovering a new talent in this area? haha...
Had a talk with 80 as well and he gave me an unimaginable target which i had my jaw dropped for 10 seconds. Will need faith to believe that it will come but i'm more amazed by how blessed I was in my talk with him.
*Difference between a feedback and a complaint lies in the word "attitude". Good attitude gives constructive feedbacks for one to improve but bad attitude detests others with complaints*
How cool is that? :)
Followed which I had a dinner treat from Jenn! haha.. thanks so much for the treat :) next time we go out to eat my turn to treat ya k? :P

Mon and Tue were pretty okay except I found someone which I had known for sometime but didn't realise we got similar interests in history and arts? it's so amazing really! LOL... anyway, more fellowships to go! haha..

so that's all for now... tata!! :):):)

recently have been falling sick and getting 'sick' of gg to work literally at times.. but i need to persevere on.

i need to buck up, buck up, buck up!! Face the reality of life, it's not a foam party but a life full of thorns and you get hurt when you are not careful! of course there are still amazing things ard like friends and family and God.

set things lying around, and you are doomed for death. people will warn you before hand of the danger ahead, you still don't listen, you are on a faster track to death!!
*okok sounds too serious * haha...

just finished helping Mel do up the slides which she had difficulty in.. Haha.. back to work!

Crossroads. I'm at it once again...


Right now the thing to do is really to think and reflect. I'm good at where I am now, but I need to be better for the future.


Sit down, think through what do I want. Pen down and make sure I follow through till I get it. To summarise: I need to plan!!



Keep going head-on with things, I'll just go bonkers with bumps on the head!! haha...



Instincts are good, rationale is good, emotions too, but where should the balance be?


Answers only I can find out for my own.

It's my life, time for me to live it my way God wants it to be.

What about the now? What about the future? All these I need not worry about as soon as I know where I am going.


No point being emotional all the time, over pointless things. Time to face it upfront, tackle it like a man, solve it graciously and with style.

This will be who I am.