Weee... last night's connect group leaders' mtg was great, what pb shared got me thinking alot.
all the plans about following up new friends, working on the members, raising up new leaders, strengthening the current leaders, setting visions and the list goes on.. pretty exciting year ahead for 2010, but somehow I didn't really share the joy and excitement then. I was just thinking and reflecting...
this year 2009 had been a rough, yet an exciting year. more exciting than a roller coaster I would say? meeting new friends and buddies, going overseas with frenz to celebrate birthdays, new jobs and promotions, new cell group etc. many many things. (who says life with God is boring, haha!)
of course many other new things came on as well, breakthroughs came knocking like never before.
some things from yesterday:
- a leader is never about the appointment. the appointment affirms the promotion, like a cell group leader or usher team leader etc. what's valuable in the promotion is the capacity you grow out of the process and then coming on to a new level.
and being a leader is really about taking charge, braving the storms. many a time people seek appreciation and affirmation through being a leader but how many actually understands the risks and sacrifices being one? and more often than not, they don't get appreciated and it is a lot of back-end preparation, trials and scoldings which makes the front so presentable. the endurance and the long-suffering, going through the fire, the purification process wahh...
- right now it is a character molding process. how many times have I stood back coz' of the big challenges and precisely coz' i'm fighting it alone. giving up is not an option in God's dictionary. it is a favourite cheer in Satan's dictionary. imagine yourself running in the sports stadium and lacking behind, with thousands of crowd, everyone (Satan and devils) is jeering 'Give up, give up' and God in one corner, standing out from the light He emits says a loud 'Move on, I will wait for you at the finishing line!' and that word seems to shadow over the thousand jeers in the stadium. and you continue to run and run, forgetting the jeers and persists on to the finishing line!
the thoughtfulness to follow through, the ability to widen my scope and multi-task, discipline, multiple dimension leadership!!!
- balance is the key. above that it has to be pushed with a vision or a revelation from God. when you have a direction to go towards, you will not be lost and instead, it serves as an added motivation for you to run towards the finishing line.
what a way to end my 2009! welcome 2010!!! :D
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
just had a chat with Mel last night and guessed one of the paragraphs that I'd typed had reaffirmed her fears, about being detached from the cell group when the busyness of the season comes like Christmas or Easter when the ministry requires more attention?
previously back in Vic's cg, ministry was almost like everything to me and it was pretty common how easy I would 'disappear' from services and cg could only see me during cgm? haha.
Pretty unhealthy yea and it had gotten to me that it wasn't God whom I'm serving for in the ministry but myself. That's when things got haywire anyway but when it came onto the current cg, things were very much different.
by then I had paced down and stabilised myself in ministry in terms of roles and responsibilities and very much of the things are pretty ad-hoc, despite certain commitments to it. things started falling into place pretty nicely for the 1st half and had the chance of fellowshipping more with the cg and knowing them better. So it was the relationships that kept me rooted to this cg.
Pretty unique synergy of how the cg is made up, and esp when I'm older than the rest comparatively which pretty suits me up in a adult cg more appropriately. Anyway despite that, things gelled pretty well for me.
I guess everytime before I move on to a new level, balance will always be a problem for me. As shared in my previous post, cg was there but I didn't felt part of it. Yeap, prayers were made but above the prayers, many more in the cg rose up to the occasion to make things happen which I'm proud of! :)
It is really the balance that determines the outcome of things. Once the focus is lost, the balance loses itself.
previously back in Vic's cg, ministry was almost like everything to me and it was pretty common how easy I would 'disappear' from services and cg could only see me during cgm? haha.
Pretty unhealthy yea and it had gotten to me that it wasn't God whom I'm serving for in the ministry but myself. That's when things got haywire anyway but when it came onto the current cg, things were very much different.
by then I had paced down and stabilised myself in ministry in terms of roles and responsibilities and very much of the things are pretty ad-hoc, despite certain commitments to it. things started falling into place pretty nicely for the 1st half and had the chance of fellowshipping more with the cg and knowing them better. So it was the relationships that kept me rooted to this cg.
Pretty unique synergy of how the cg is made up, and esp when I'm older than the rest comparatively which pretty suits me up in a adult cg more appropriately. Anyway despite that, things gelled pretty well for me.
I guess everytime before I move on to a new level, balance will always be a problem for me. As shared in my previous post, cg was there but I didn't felt part of it. Yeap, prayers were made but above the prayers, many more in the cg rose up to the occasion to make things happen which I'm proud of! :)
It is really the balance that determines the outcome of things. Once the focus is lost, the balance loses itself.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
this christmas wkend has been a rushed one. haha, busy with serving and having fun all at the same time, not to forget learning from mistakes and the shifting which took place last Sunday. Think this entire week had been a limit-breaking week and I guess I'm running tired from the many events that I was involved in.
Somehow thank God for things which had pulled through the roof and had grown to a new level. But somehow expectations for me seems to be higher than how it should be for me. On the ball for things, ensure things are running and smooth, clearing the back-end jobs etc. Too many to conquer at times. Keeping up with the standards of other leaders can be tiring but I guess it's part of the training, to be certain I had grown to a new level which is expected of me.
How many I wish I can cried for help but even if did, not many actually heard and responded. Those who heard at most could only offer a listening ear (good enough most of the time) but I couldn't be running the show alone. Times when i tried to geared up some to run with me, I've failed in it. Probably asking them to come to my level seemed too hard? I don't know. Still trying to learn how to even out that expectation.
Learning to lead and handle myself in terms of expectations onto others. Many a time I just felt like giving up, moving on to a new ground but i just stood back, cooled off and tell myself I can still do it but the brink of patience and endurance is reaching the peak. Breaking point may soon be there. Will having more people running the race to catch the fire with me helps? I'm not too sure.
Maybe when the ball is dropped someone will just come in to carry on from where it stops, doing a better job than I did? That may sound like a good idea seriously...
This season is quite discouraged in a way coz' while i'm fighting the war on the ministry end, the cg has enjoyed its fair share of victories with the record attendance for the cell group and all. Well happy for them but I didn't really contribute anything to the cell group and i quite felt myself to be a visitor than a member, let alone being a connect grp leader? Yup the cell group has been loving and thank God for them really, if not I would not have been where I am, to do the things I'm focusing on etc.
Pretty oxymoron with what I'm feeling now right? haha.. talk about mixed feelings. :S
Somehow thank God for things which had pulled through the roof and had grown to a new level. But somehow expectations for me seems to be higher than how it should be for me. On the ball for things, ensure things are running and smooth, clearing the back-end jobs etc. Too many to conquer at times. Keeping up with the standards of other leaders can be tiring but I guess it's part of the training, to be certain I had grown to a new level which is expected of me.
How many I wish I can cried for help but even if did, not many actually heard and responded. Those who heard at most could only offer a listening ear (good enough most of the time) but I couldn't be running the show alone. Times when i tried to geared up some to run with me, I've failed in it. Probably asking them to come to my level seemed too hard? I don't know. Still trying to learn how to even out that expectation.
Learning to lead and handle myself in terms of expectations onto others. Many a time I just felt like giving up, moving on to a new ground but i just stood back, cooled off and tell myself I can still do it but the brink of patience and endurance is reaching the peak. Breaking point may soon be there. Will having more people running the race to catch the fire with me helps? I'm not too sure.
Maybe when the ball is dropped someone will just come in to carry on from where it stops, doing a better job than I did? That may sound like a good idea seriously...
This season is quite discouraged in a way coz' while i'm fighting the war on the ministry end, the cg has enjoyed its fair share of victories with the record attendance for the cell group and all. Well happy for them but I didn't really contribute anything to the cell group and i quite felt myself to be a visitor than a member, let alone being a connect grp leader? Yup the cell group has been loving and thank God for them really, if not I would not have been where I am, to do the things I'm focusing on etc.
Pretty oxymoron with what I'm feeling now right? haha.. talk about mixed feelings. :S
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
laying down one's life for another
what does it mean to lay down your life for the other person?
what's the extent of sacrifice u r willing to make so that that person can advance further because isn't that what it means, to allow the other to prosper?
what's the extent of sacrifice u r willing to make so that that person can advance further because isn't that what it means, to allow the other to prosper?
Monday, December 21, 2009
random posting
'What are i doing with my life rite now?' Ever thought of that qn before?
Missed the times when things have been planned out for u, sch fm 7-2, homework fm 3-5 and dinner plus tv session till 10pm, slp and next day u'll be waking up for sch, which the whole pattern repeats again. Haha.
It's nv easy to ensure things run smoothly as you plan and execute them accordingly. Basically things don't fall according to what you Had planned, especially down to the details of mins and secs.
As we proceed into maturity, it's a natural process that we learn to think for others and ourselves as well. Others in terms of blessing or helping them for eg, ourselves means planning for our own future, goal settings.
Planning not just involves thinking what you want to have in the future but also draft out on steps to how to fulfill that dream and vision you have.
God's vision or your dream, it's all the same. U'll still need to plan out and draft out things you need to do so that you can achieve it!
It's never easy trying, yet it is a process that lets us grow from our experiences, to be more wise with our choices and thoughts.
Planning requires sitting down, penning your thoughts, visualising your future, shaping your present to be in line with what you have or want for your future. And lastly, setting goals, short term and long term and as such, writing it down.
It is practical to write what you plan, we tend to forget easily so it is best if it can be written down. :)
Cheerios!
Missed the times when things have been planned out for u, sch fm 7-2, homework fm 3-5 and dinner plus tv session till 10pm, slp and next day u'll be waking up for sch, which the whole pattern repeats again. Haha.
It's nv easy to ensure things run smoothly as you plan and execute them accordingly. Basically things don't fall according to what you Had planned, especially down to the details of mins and secs.
As we proceed into maturity, it's a natural process that we learn to think for others and ourselves as well. Others in terms of blessing or helping them for eg, ourselves means planning for our own future, goal settings.
Planning not just involves thinking what you want to have in the future but also draft out on steps to how to fulfill that dream and vision you have.
God's vision or your dream, it's all the same. U'll still need to plan out and draft out things you need to do so that you can achieve it!
It's never easy trying, yet it is a process that lets us grow from our experiences, to be more wise with our choices and thoughts.
Planning requires sitting down, penning your thoughts, visualising your future, shaping your present to be in line with what you have or want for your future. And lastly, setting goals, short term and long term and as such, writing it down.
It is practical to write what you plan, we tend to forget easily so it is best if it can be written down. :)
Cheerios!
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