Friends 'Forever'

I was asking someone this question today: "Because friends come and go throughout your life, what are the things that leave their tracks permanently in your heart?"

Got this answer from that someone: "Because memories and influence are like ideas, they are bulletproof and cannot be destroyed unless they are forgotten."

Had this question in mind out of a sudden, what does it mean to be a 'BFF' to someone and how well will you function as a friend for the someone you care for?

Since young I was always intrigued by the idea of having as many friends as possible coz' it means you will never be lonely and the number will reflect how popular you will be. I ever remembered it came to a stage in pri 2 or 3 that we even compared the number of friends we had, and whoever befriended one cannot befriend the other? can imagine how ridiculous it could have went, not to mention the childishness involved but those were the days really.
Then as I grew up friends really came as those to whom I could connect and chat up with, those that I needed help from and vice versa. The magical thing was the connection was just there and perhaps I didn't do anything to start up and to maintain it, it just hanged as long as we saw each other.
That lasted through polytechnic really and during those days I thought friends were a God-given thing, a very natural thing so I could really care-less about making new friends or bother to keep in contact after we move on to the different phases of our life. Because what happens will be as I move on, there will still be new friendships forged etc. (i know alot of ppl will kill me for this please forgive me k? i was still young and innocent then.. :S)

Of course from primary to secondary school I had my fair share of my so-called good friends who would always be the bully in my life and never fail to make my life 'interesting' yea... (i used to be the 'teacher's pet' for certain teachers coz' i was being too initiative in helping out so perhaps that's why i always get ostracised or bullied for that.)
[Somehow being too helpful always seem to be the indication that this student is a boot licker etc and as long as others don't like it, they just do things to irritate that student to make themselves feel better for no reason during my time. I wonder if this still goes on now? Haha..]

Anyway at around the same time as well, I started to see that other peeps were organising gatherings etc and it came to a realization that I was very much in my own world that i took a lot of things for granted...

That was around the time also I first stepped into CHC and it wasn't the praise and worship that wowed me really, nor the preaching but it was the friends that kept me rooted to the church and cell group. At first it felt weird coz' from the family i was brought up in, being exceptionally warm to others is 'alien' to me. That's when the initial tracks of a friendship was left in my heart really.
Perhaps it was then I started to have a different perspective of how a friendship should be like, a 2-way traffic that offers a refuge and shelter for the parties as long as they are willing to make accommodations and sacrifices for each other.
How bonded or strong the friendship stays depends on how much efforts are placed.

Because of this as well, there's a circle of influence in the friendships you have. Your life values and principles, attitude and character all closely tied to each other on this string called 'committed friendship' that makes you vulnerable to each other to a certain extent. How well is the influence also depends on the level of connectivity you have with each other on the grounds of similar interests and common values and visions both may be going for.

And as you spend time with each other through various activities and fun, different areas are exposed and that's also when you get to know each other better.
That's how memories and influence comes in really. You remembering perhaps what your buddy has done for you on your 21st bday for example, and how his life values had changed you to be part of who you are today for example.

I totally quite agree with the answer given by 'someone' coz memories and the influence are really those little things that remind us of who they are and unless they are forgotten, they cannot be removed.

Anyway of course friends do come and go because of different reasons and it's really a matter of treasuring the times while you are around for each other really. Along the stages of life, there will also be those who will be the closer ones that you will call buddies or best friends and those who may be good friends or just friends.

So have you ever in my life until this stage, have a fair share of having exciting adventures with friends and looking forward to have more?

I would say for myself I'm looking forward to greater surprises ahead. I don't want my friends to fall and as much i want to move together with them. =) I'm still trying to be as best I can a good friend for those I can reach out to and still looking out for a buddy whom I can connect to.

So looking at the title " Friends 'Forever' ", perhaps it's true when you look at 2 perspectives, one being the lifelong friends you will get to enjoy their company from the time you know them to death and you know in your heart 'this friendship will last forever'. The other perhaps to be the memories you have with them that will last with you, forever.


Signing off,
Junius Solomon