This word is so thought-provoking... Son-ship...

Makes the difference between a servant serving his master and being the son of the father (master).

Servant serves the master with a service, but a son serves not only with a service but presses into the father's vision.

Sometimes it can be so tough to be a son/daughter of Jesus. But all it takes is one word: "Willingness"

Are you WILLING enough?

=)

Believing in own strength brings about great confidence and great power. Hence comes the responsibilities entrusted to you because you are also faithful in the little things. And soon after promotions will be after you, giving you access to greater things, enabling you to achieve things greater and more historical than your peers..

How cool is that?

Recently it's really the season of exploring oneself, knowing your strengths and your weaknesses, unleashing the potential and the talents that's inside of you.. Haha, knowing is not enough really. How do you use what you have to propel yourself to greater heights? That's the key..

Can't wait really for what is going to happen.. But yet at the same time, there's a small sense of struggle.. Wanting to propel forward but the fear's holding self back.. need to learn to breakthrough from there..
Many things to look for but I wish there's a system for self to keep tab on.. Do not want to lose control over my flesh but to take control with the spirit..

I'm believing in You, putting my trust in You. Though the wait is long but truly it is a test for me. I will pass this test with flying colours. Thank You for putting me through this test. =)

Yest was such a fun day..

Firstly thank God for the sabbath that i need not go down to expo for one sunday in 1+yrs!! So took the chance to sleep till 12pm! So cool la! Anyway, it was a fruitful rest and I don't regret getting myself to Expo and probably do nothing.. Lol.. But realised something, there aren't nice TV shows on Sunday morning/afternoons, even cartoons! Heh..

Secondly was the Youth'Em event proudly organised by the exciting youths of DT zone!! It was such a great success and if you were there, you get to see ppl unleashing potential and showing others what they are really capable of with their talents! It was really a wow! And the disciples, one of them was Kelvin.. Man he was so humble!! Was supposed to help out with ushering for the event and he was the ic.. Didn't know much about ushering but yet he's so willing to learn and from there took the lead.. It was a powerful testimony in itself that when you are to lead, you truly take ownership! Wanna become someone like that man..

Anyway after the event finally had the chance to fellowship with Karen le! Lol.. 81 and Shuzhen was around also.. It was a good fellowship no matter what.. Met them up at Swensons, ate the ice cream.. not that fantastic but it was still alrite la.. dun really ask for much though.. haha.. (was actually quite honoured to fellowship with them coz you don;t really get such chances.. heh)

that;s all well.. can;t ask for more.. a well rested sunday with great company for fellowship! =D

finally, has gotten over fm last week's mood swings i would say but come to think of it, quite scary to recall what has happened because it really seemed like i was in a bottomless pit all helpless.. but thanks to some peeps that helped, to the wee hours when the hp will just go dead on batt. haha

so glad that things are progressing, be it ministry or personal life.. just had a new revelation on finances, esp after the last session on Wheel of Life on the topic 'Finances'. Quite powerful, that when you plan your budget, budget a sum of money solely to GIVE AWAY. Shocking? Coz usually we always plan our budget for our own management and use but what does giving away money got to do with budgeting?
Principle's quite simple.. What you reap is what you sow. So as you start to give more, you will start to gain more just like harvesting.. The lesser seeds you spread across the field, the lesser you get in return and vice versa..
And one key to leading a debt free life is to know your priorties.. Is your money used to getting the wants and not on other impt things like settling bills or being quick to return ppl money? Haha.. just some things to think about..

as the past proceeds on like the wind, so are the new springing forth with surprises..

no matter what happens, continue to look forward.

The light is shining in the midst of darkness, where the source of light is the hope and key to our future.

Move on, march on, press on.

Stand Strong! Be bold!

If you dare to move, you dare to dream!

the name Solomon... What does it mean to me?

I'm just so troubled with what's going on... mixed feelings perhaps... haiz..

for once looking at the allocation... I don't have to the heart to serve... haiz.

in the recent weeks i saw many people rising up in their own spiritual life, and promotions came for them and was really happy for them. People like Vann, Elson and Lionel under B.Darren's discipleship, Bernard getting promoted to TL, Jeremy creating a miracle for himself coming for the youth outreach, diao zheng growing in maturity, Charles bringing so many friends and gotten integrated into the CG etc etc etc..
Can say God's really amazing..

Prob the same question that I have for myself now as I used to ask: "What's my calling and what exactly am I doing right now?"
Things had been the same for me since the beginning of NS.. helping out in ministry and in cg.. being involved in things or events here and there.. but what are the things that's really keeping me to what I'm doing right now? I mean I'm not a zombie / robot that's doing things so aimlessly and without a purpose.. It's so fustrating to do things that way really..
MSN nick right now is 'So Lost..' Kind of explain how things are for me right now..
True in a way that I'm looking forward to promotions and do know that promotion comes from God and no one else.. But I can''t seem to see work that in my life to seek promotion because of God and not because of myself. Been struggling since and I'm still struggling now..

In a crossroad right now where I do not know where to go.. I thought I knew what I wanted but suddenly i have this fear of going for them and i'm not sure if that's what I really want. So funny somehow.. I'm just waiting for each day to pass and each day gets more and more meaningless..

Being effective is no longer what I can do now.. I can no longer judge if what I'm doing is worthwhile.. Simply something simple like whether I should help someone out as a question to myself, I can't even answer! I can't imagine if i'm assigned to do bigger things will i be able to do it or sustain the results?

True enough I'm dependable to most people and if they come to me for solutions I can give them to my best capability. But I realised those are all based on my past credits and achievements, and I'm not creating new ones! How can I expect myself to lead when I'm not achieving something myself now or to show that I can lead?

Used to do this test to determine what's my love language and lo and behold... It's words of affirmation... How practical was I then? Haa.. Then I would remember the days in the past when I would try to get attention from my friends and that's when my ego would take over me to boast about my past achievements so that I can get affirmed by someone.. How childish... *feel like slapping myself somehow*

So many questions flooding through my mind right now.. Whether I can make things happen for myself? Be it finances, family, cg, ministry, personal and spiritual life. even my emotions... Very negative I know but... Well...

I can't understand why I'm still hanging onto what I have now which I should have gave up on because of the so many things I rattled earlier.. So funny, on the opposite table I'm hearing the people talking about vision.. Is it true that I'd lost my vision already?

Fustrations after fustrations.. Agony after agony... I do not want to live a life of me forgetting what I went through the night before after a night's sleep and a day takes place without me learning anything from yesterday.. It just meant I wasted 24hrs of my life yesterday! It's so tiring also.. Seeking for things that I thought wouldn't happen on my anymore because I felt myself being stagnant for too long..

I hope things won't come to a point whereby I don't find EVERYTHING meaningless and I just leave church.. Just like what in Getting Started we talk about being spiritually and emotionally dead = walking zombie..

Man can be very funny.. Mixing positivity and negativity altogether.. Anyone cares to help this poor soul here? *HELP* I seriously need someone to guide and disciple me.. Can say I was quite envious like Nat, she got like Eugene, Richie or Roger to guide her, the 12 having Bro Alex and Xue with Vic around? Or is it I'm not seeking hard enough to wanting to be discipled, to be guided?
One thing that I learnt in the navy is that we can factor many reasons in for the so many things that happened but usually, the problem is none other than ourselves being in that situation, DOING NOTHING...

I just don't like this feeling......

Yonghui once told me I already have the skills to become a TL.. The factor that's lacking is me.. Transferring to Hwee Tze's team make me realise that leader is not about works, it's about people even in ministry. And Pst Tan's last sermon affirmed that too.. But I can't seem to make it happen..

Why's my life turning this way???

ahh.. so lost..

now i'm just thinking if i'm the right person for the job or am i really up to it? How can i be effective if i wanna influence others?

ahhh.. i need more finances!! sigh...

This week passed by pretty fast..

Fri went back to Changi for my pink IC and that indicates the end of my NS life! So it's Mr J from now on (no rank attached till reservist, haha).

Had a fun time on fri with my dept for dinner at MOF @ Bugis, and later with the CG at Harry's @ Dempsey Hill. Quite a nice place to hang out and chill but ended up being home at like 3am in the morning and having to wake up early the next day for YW's wedding.

Came sat which was my SL, Yew Weng's big day! Haha. So happy for him that he had found his love to spend the rest of his life with. All the best in a blissful marriage and may you have many lil YW's and Rachels soon! =) (suddenly realised that week itself the 'Rachels' are married. Haha)
Well, soon after went for svc and managed to cleared quite abit for my UM2 cupboard on after svc but by the time everything finished, it was time for supper so went to the airport for makan. As usual for Sats airport is usually crowded with ppl but thank God managed to find seats. Hehe.. Managed to catch the last bus home from airport with Jen and Bao ling..

Sun was communion duty. Ended up being late for duty (guilty) since a long long time.. Was famished by the time sermon started but thank God Jen bought breakfast! =) Thanks haha..
So after svc contiuned with UM2 cupboard (yet again..). Got comments from Timo saying I own the UM2 cupboard, as if the cupboard is mine liao.. I was so -.-||| when I heard that..
Continued all the way till 7pm when grp 4 finished their meeting. Had a sense of achievement then coz I finished UM1, UM2, UM3 inventories, tumbler counts plus majority of the bucket count! =) *finally can hand up some work to boss this Sat*

So for Mon it was less exciting coz it was like 1st day of work but glad that I'd made new frenz and they were all very nice and helpful to me esp if i got many, many questions to ask! (I'm a bit slow in learning somehow haha) Getting the hang of it though so yea.. More to go.. Heh..

Oh ya, Bro's just got discharged from hospital due to a fractured leg. It seemed quite bad so if you can, do pray for my bro k? thankie! =)

That's all for fast updates. Will update again soon! =)

What exactly is service onto others?

How would you define service onto others? (personal definition)?

Do you have any agenda when it comes you serving others, inclusive of those either lower or higher statures than yourself?

What is the reason why I'm serving and not being served?

Do I want/expect any returns out of my service onto others?

What makes a good servant and the qualities behind a good servant?

How can I improve on myself in terms of my service onto others and in what way benefits me?

Last of all, who am I serving ultimately? God or man?



I'm running through this questions in my mind as it sets me thinking on why I want to serve as an usher, in CG when I can sit down and wait for this to happen. Recently there had been questions asked by people I know, why did I do this in the 1st place, why am I doing this etc?

One thing I know is that I'm serving out of passion and not out of obligation. The difference is the passion gives you the energy and stamina to go far while being obliged simply don't last long. And with the passion, there's the desire to excel in the job and not slacken.

And the reason why I'm still in ministry now is partly because of the people whom I'm serving, towards and with. The love for God and love for people, the 2 elements that drives and changes things. For myself I find it rewarding when people smiles back in appreciation of what you'd done for them, or a simple 'Thank You' from them does make a difference too.
And the people whom I'm serving with, be it ushers, leaders or members, they are an amazing group of people and regardless of their background or their weaknesses, each have inside them a special talent that no devil can rob away from and that talent has to be maximised to it's fullest potential.

Well, that's about all for now i think.. More things to crap on tomorrow! What's in for this weekend let's see.. Alex's birthday celebration after Wheel of Life, Weng's wedding on Sat afternoon at Merchant Court and Sun communion! Haha.. =)

New phase of life starting very soon, in 10 hrs time when I get to see my pink IC once again. Haha..

Yea, later going for interview at ESPN working as data entry personnel.. Pay's pretty good I must say. Least for a temp job... So hoping I can get this job least to tide over this current 'crisis' period. Haha..

Things are certainly getting better by the day because God seems more evident in my life through the small little things everyday.

Asia Conference is coming and I really, really can't wait for it to happen!

There are so many things I'll be involved in and it's definitely a great chance of learning and in terms of expanding my capacity too!

Asia Conference here i come! =)

It's Thu! 24 hours more to ORD!! Hee!

Just came back fm watching Wall.E at PS GV! Man was the movie good! Pretty entertaining and engaging. Had a few 'findings' after watching this movie.

1. At the beginning of the movie the earth was portrayed as cities polluted by rubbish and were piling up very badly (skycrapers of compressed rubbish) and the sky was yellow instead of blue.(pretty hard to imagine eh?)
   
2. In the show humans that were living in space (btw Earth was 'abandoned' because it was too badly polluted and not suitable for human living, 700 yrs ago..) grew to be so lazy that everywhere they go they travelled on mobile chairs that served their every need including communications and food orders (even change of clothes too!)
3. The humans were too occupied with what they have that they didn't know what existed around them lest the shopping malls.. (one during the movie commented that she never knew the spaceship had a swimming pool!)
   

Evaluation fm these pts were that:

1. Now our earth is quite polluted with all the trash we generate everyday and will one day we'll come to the state as what's portrayed in the movie when we need to move out of earth to look for another planet or environment to live in?
2. Ever wondered if we are too dependent on technology (laptops, handphones) such that we'll be totally 'crippled' or lost if we don't have them one day? It's almost like they are part of our lives because of how convenient our lives became because of them.
3. Agree that at times we take things/people around us for granted, we don't realise certain things going on that needs our attention due to certain reasons?

Anyway it was a good movie and I don't mind watching it again really! But time's a problem...

I had a good fellowship today with Vic and Chin(very interesting guy. Why? shall explain later)! Looking back, guess things really progressed since i 1st came to church knowing Vic. Last time things were very straight for me as she was the leader and I'm the member so there wasn't much interaction between us unless it's on CG matters or discipleship sessions. Now least there's this friendship going on and she had been a good leader placed over my life. Often we can crap or tease around and share things without agenda. Glad to have you as my dearest CG leader VIC! Thanks for all the things you'd done to safeguard my life and watching over it! =D

Something about Chin, he's the only person I know so far that can make me laugh and smile all the way fm the moment I'd met him. In the beginning I asked him 'What are you doing now?' as in 'What's your profession?'. So he happily said "I'm on the escalator." (we were on the escalator then) That was so cold la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And over at dinner table he was continuing to lame, to the state whereby I wanted to bang my head laughing... Well he certainly opened up my day! Lol.


Finally I had a clear idea of what do I want for myself and really no doubts about it but one thing to do now is to pray over it. God, my life is in Your hands...

I'd rejected the job in Recruit Express this afternoon.

Somehow thank God the interview today made me realised what I exactly want and the job does have a conflict of interest to what I want for myself. Anyway shan't share much for the interests of the company but yea, choice had been made.
And not to forget the people there, esp Jason and Mervin for being so helpful and nice!

Want to thank God too for more open doors today on the jobs I can take on to train myself up. Anyone out there got job lobangs inform me k? Willing to work till next yr Aug at least! =)

One last thing, I need a job!!! =S

New love: Nokia E71!! Wanna get my hands on that phone asap! Hee

Bloggy time!

Did H2 for 1st time on Sun.. Morning was bad because my briefing wasn't clear but still alrite.. Then setting up of the hall was slow too. Thank God Joseph was there to help. Anyway I need more preparation for future Hotel duties and delegation and allocation of work can be better! jiayou~~
Did attendance for the 1st time too. Thought it was easy but took a lot of time to cross check. (Poor Juan waited though she was sick but she was patient enough. =) )

Anyway after duty quickly rushed down for the Youth'Em event. It's actually a youth event organised by the YOUTHS of DT zone. How cool is that!! only managed to hear the sermon preached by B.Darren but thank God for the wonderful presence! So glad that Jeremy came too! So our whole connect grp was there as 1 full grp, 1st time! So proud of you guys man, esp Jeremy! Gonna find one day to take one grp pic, hadn't done so b4!
Somehow this connect grp is like the future for the next generation of world-shakers and history makers!
FYI the next Youth'Em event's gonna be great, on 21st Sept! Do come!

Vic and Sean popped the same question on 2 different days about me moving to youth CG. Dun mind helping out but... Shall give a miss for this haha..

Met up with Sing Yee, Mic, Jas, Gaius, CK and Jeremy for fellowship at MOF. The fellowship was great and we went to COMEX after that. Man it was crowded at the last day with all the sales going like nobody's business. Heh.

Oh yea, attended Ray's wedding yesterday too. The 'RaRa' wedding between Ray and Rachel. Congratulations and hope that you'll have many lil' Ray and Rachel's! It was good with all the funny videos and how 'bad' the brothers were treated before Ray could enter Rachel's place and the funny animation of how they met and gotten together. SO happy for them really..

that's all for now.. till later!

God is so timely today in everything.. *sometimes i wonder if He ever reads my blog lol*

Woke up, went down and the lift was there, trains came on time, buses came on time.. And it's all that I'd intended to take. Went to RecruitExpress to look for temp job but ended up getting a temp job in the same company itself. Today's interview was scary and the manager was STRAIGHT FORWARD la! Somehow can feel blades coming out from his words but he meant well with all his words.
Going down for 2nd interview tmr, hopefully I'll get the job! It's kind of funny coz' I felt a prompting in my heart to go there to look for jobs and lo and behold, surprises came after another!

God has such interesting ways to make your life fun, and to love him even more! =)

Life's getting more exciting now..

Seeing things unfold by itself, with pleasant surprises and all.

God's ever so wonderful and surprising...

Asia Conference is coming, that's when my Breakthrough comes, Capacity expands like never before, Propelling to the next level, my Life been changed.

Persevering on...