Weee... last night's connect group leaders' mtg was great, what pb shared got me thinking alot.
all the plans about following up new friends, working on the members, raising up new leaders, strengthening the current leaders, setting visions and the list goes on.. pretty exciting year ahead for 2010, but somehow I didn't really share the joy and excitement then. I was just thinking and reflecting...
this year 2009 had been a rough, yet an exciting year. more exciting than a roller coaster I would say? meeting new friends and buddies, going overseas with frenz to celebrate birthdays, new jobs and promotions, new cell group etc. many many things. (who says life with God is boring, haha!)
of course many other new things came on as well, breakthroughs came knocking like never before.
some things from yesterday:
- a leader is never about the appointment. the appointment affirms the promotion, like a cell group leader or usher team leader etc. what's valuable in the promotion is the capacity you grow out of the process and then coming on to a new level.
and being a leader is really about taking charge, braving the storms. many a time people seek appreciation and affirmation through being a leader but how many actually understands the risks and sacrifices being one? and more often than not, they don't get appreciated and it is a lot of back-end preparation, trials and scoldings which makes the front so presentable. the endurance and the long-suffering, going through the fire, the purification process wahh...
- right now it is a character molding process. how many times have I stood back coz' of the big challenges and precisely coz' i'm fighting it alone. giving up is not an option in God's dictionary. it is a favourite cheer in Satan's dictionary. imagine yourself running in the sports stadium and lacking behind, with thousands of crowd, everyone (Satan and devils) is jeering 'Give up, give up' and God in one corner, standing out from the light He emits says a loud 'Move on, I will wait for you at the finishing line!' and that word seems to shadow over the thousand jeers in the stadium. and you continue to run and run, forgetting the jeers and persists on to the finishing line!
the thoughtfulness to follow through, the ability to widen my scope and multi-task, discipline, multiple dimension leadership!!!
- balance is the key. above that it has to be pushed with a vision or a revelation from God. when you have a direction to go towards, you will not be lost and instead, it serves as an added motivation for you to run towards the finishing line.
what a way to end my 2009! welcome 2010!!! :D
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
just had a chat with Mel last night and guessed one of the paragraphs that I'd typed had reaffirmed her fears, about being detached from the cell group when the busyness of the season comes like Christmas or Easter when the ministry requires more attention?
previously back in Vic's cg, ministry was almost like everything to me and it was pretty common how easy I would 'disappear' from services and cg could only see me during cgm? haha.
Pretty unhealthy yea and it had gotten to me that it wasn't God whom I'm serving for in the ministry but myself. That's when things got haywire anyway but when it came onto the current cg, things were very much different.
by then I had paced down and stabilised myself in ministry in terms of roles and responsibilities and very much of the things are pretty ad-hoc, despite certain commitments to it. things started falling into place pretty nicely for the 1st half and had the chance of fellowshipping more with the cg and knowing them better. So it was the relationships that kept me rooted to this cg.
Pretty unique synergy of how the cg is made up, and esp when I'm older than the rest comparatively which pretty suits me up in a adult cg more appropriately. Anyway despite that, things gelled pretty well for me.
I guess everytime before I move on to a new level, balance will always be a problem for me. As shared in my previous post, cg was there but I didn't felt part of it. Yeap, prayers were made but above the prayers, many more in the cg rose up to the occasion to make things happen which I'm proud of! :)
It is really the balance that determines the outcome of things. Once the focus is lost, the balance loses itself.
previously back in Vic's cg, ministry was almost like everything to me and it was pretty common how easy I would 'disappear' from services and cg could only see me during cgm? haha.
Pretty unhealthy yea and it had gotten to me that it wasn't God whom I'm serving for in the ministry but myself. That's when things got haywire anyway but when it came onto the current cg, things were very much different.
by then I had paced down and stabilised myself in ministry in terms of roles and responsibilities and very much of the things are pretty ad-hoc, despite certain commitments to it. things started falling into place pretty nicely for the 1st half and had the chance of fellowshipping more with the cg and knowing them better. So it was the relationships that kept me rooted to this cg.
Pretty unique synergy of how the cg is made up, and esp when I'm older than the rest comparatively which pretty suits me up in a adult cg more appropriately. Anyway despite that, things gelled pretty well for me.
I guess everytime before I move on to a new level, balance will always be a problem for me. As shared in my previous post, cg was there but I didn't felt part of it. Yeap, prayers were made but above the prayers, many more in the cg rose up to the occasion to make things happen which I'm proud of! :)
It is really the balance that determines the outcome of things. Once the focus is lost, the balance loses itself.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
this christmas wkend has been a rushed one. haha, busy with serving and having fun all at the same time, not to forget learning from mistakes and the shifting which took place last Sunday. Think this entire week had been a limit-breaking week and I guess I'm running tired from the many events that I was involved in.
Somehow thank God for things which had pulled through the roof and had grown to a new level. But somehow expectations for me seems to be higher than how it should be for me. On the ball for things, ensure things are running and smooth, clearing the back-end jobs etc. Too many to conquer at times. Keeping up with the standards of other leaders can be tiring but I guess it's part of the training, to be certain I had grown to a new level which is expected of me.
How many I wish I can cried for help but even if did, not many actually heard and responded. Those who heard at most could only offer a listening ear (good enough most of the time) but I couldn't be running the show alone. Times when i tried to geared up some to run with me, I've failed in it. Probably asking them to come to my level seemed too hard? I don't know. Still trying to learn how to even out that expectation.
Learning to lead and handle myself in terms of expectations onto others. Many a time I just felt like giving up, moving on to a new ground but i just stood back, cooled off and tell myself I can still do it but the brink of patience and endurance is reaching the peak. Breaking point may soon be there. Will having more people running the race to catch the fire with me helps? I'm not too sure.
Maybe when the ball is dropped someone will just come in to carry on from where it stops, doing a better job than I did? That may sound like a good idea seriously...
This season is quite discouraged in a way coz' while i'm fighting the war on the ministry end, the cg has enjoyed its fair share of victories with the record attendance for the cell group and all. Well happy for them but I didn't really contribute anything to the cell group and i quite felt myself to be a visitor than a member, let alone being a connect grp leader? Yup the cell group has been loving and thank God for them really, if not I would not have been where I am, to do the things I'm focusing on etc.
Pretty oxymoron with what I'm feeling now right? haha.. talk about mixed feelings. :S
Somehow thank God for things which had pulled through the roof and had grown to a new level. But somehow expectations for me seems to be higher than how it should be for me. On the ball for things, ensure things are running and smooth, clearing the back-end jobs etc. Too many to conquer at times. Keeping up with the standards of other leaders can be tiring but I guess it's part of the training, to be certain I had grown to a new level which is expected of me.
How many I wish I can cried for help but even if did, not many actually heard and responded. Those who heard at most could only offer a listening ear (good enough most of the time) but I couldn't be running the show alone. Times when i tried to geared up some to run with me, I've failed in it. Probably asking them to come to my level seemed too hard? I don't know. Still trying to learn how to even out that expectation.
Learning to lead and handle myself in terms of expectations onto others. Many a time I just felt like giving up, moving on to a new ground but i just stood back, cooled off and tell myself I can still do it but the brink of patience and endurance is reaching the peak. Breaking point may soon be there. Will having more people running the race to catch the fire with me helps? I'm not too sure.
Maybe when the ball is dropped someone will just come in to carry on from where it stops, doing a better job than I did? That may sound like a good idea seriously...
This season is quite discouraged in a way coz' while i'm fighting the war on the ministry end, the cg has enjoyed its fair share of victories with the record attendance for the cell group and all. Well happy for them but I didn't really contribute anything to the cell group and i quite felt myself to be a visitor than a member, let alone being a connect grp leader? Yup the cell group has been loving and thank God for them really, if not I would not have been where I am, to do the things I'm focusing on etc.
Pretty oxymoron with what I'm feeling now right? haha.. talk about mixed feelings. :S
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
laying down one's life for another
what does it mean to lay down your life for the other person?
what's the extent of sacrifice u r willing to make so that that person can advance further because isn't that what it means, to allow the other to prosper?
what's the extent of sacrifice u r willing to make so that that person can advance further because isn't that what it means, to allow the other to prosper?
Monday, December 21, 2009
random posting
'What are i doing with my life rite now?' Ever thought of that qn before?
Missed the times when things have been planned out for u, sch fm 7-2, homework fm 3-5 and dinner plus tv session till 10pm, slp and next day u'll be waking up for sch, which the whole pattern repeats again. Haha.
It's nv easy to ensure things run smoothly as you plan and execute them accordingly. Basically things don't fall according to what you Had planned, especially down to the details of mins and secs.
As we proceed into maturity, it's a natural process that we learn to think for others and ourselves as well. Others in terms of blessing or helping them for eg, ourselves means planning for our own future, goal settings.
Planning not just involves thinking what you want to have in the future but also draft out on steps to how to fulfill that dream and vision you have.
God's vision or your dream, it's all the same. U'll still need to plan out and draft out things you need to do so that you can achieve it!
It's never easy trying, yet it is a process that lets us grow from our experiences, to be more wise with our choices and thoughts.
Planning requires sitting down, penning your thoughts, visualising your future, shaping your present to be in line with what you have or want for your future. And lastly, setting goals, short term and long term and as such, writing it down.
It is practical to write what you plan, we tend to forget easily so it is best if it can be written down. :)
Cheerios!
Missed the times when things have been planned out for u, sch fm 7-2, homework fm 3-5 and dinner plus tv session till 10pm, slp and next day u'll be waking up for sch, which the whole pattern repeats again. Haha.
It's nv easy to ensure things run smoothly as you plan and execute them accordingly. Basically things don't fall according to what you Had planned, especially down to the details of mins and secs.
As we proceed into maturity, it's a natural process that we learn to think for others and ourselves as well. Others in terms of blessing or helping them for eg, ourselves means planning for our own future, goal settings.
Planning not just involves thinking what you want to have in the future but also draft out on steps to how to fulfill that dream and vision you have.
God's vision or your dream, it's all the same. U'll still need to plan out and draft out things you need to do so that you can achieve it!
It's never easy trying, yet it is a process that lets us grow from our experiences, to be more wise with our choices and thoughts.
Planning requires sitting down, penning your thoughts, visualising your future, shaping your present to be in line with what you have or want for your future. And lastly, setting goals, short term and long term and as such, writing it down.
It is practical to write what you plan, we tend to forget easily so it is best if it can be written down. :)
Cheerios!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Giving
last leg of the race in 2009. 2 more weeks before the year comes to a close. reflecting back, what are the exciting things and the not-so good things that had happened in your life, directly impacting you in one way or the other.
very often we ask, what has it that I had received from others, which makes me loves him/her more? that if often sounds like we are made to receive only and and loving the person on that condition.
but really how many people will think that loving is a sacrifice and a sacrifice involves giving? Giving's never about thinking how little I can give (as long as I give it's okay) when the need arises, but it is at the moment you give what you can offer for the someone you loves.
Sacrifice involves letting go of something crucial which is a part of you, often involves a pain as well. As much as we say 'i love you' or 'we love someone', how much of your actions show that you truly love the person? For faith without works is dead.
Of course there is always an extent to how much we can give onto the person, which are determined by various factors you may say. Yeap totally agree on it but on a foundation level, isn't loving means having to give or sacrifice for that someone?
Just like Jesus who was born 2000 years ago, had sacrificed Himself for us on the calvary, of which He bore not just the sicknesses of man but the sins too. Above that because He had gone before us to win Satan in the battles that we are able to claim victories in His name. How wonderful is that sacrifice that the sole purpose of Jesus born onto this world is to be the light of the world, brings hope and salvation to the whole world. And asking any father, who would sacrifice his only son to bear the burdens of the world. A son is too precious for a father to even leave him. Yet God did just that, for us.
So on this year end, make a point to appreciate someone you love by giving, be it spending time or just buy a small gift for them. Though actions are small, yet the thought involved and the effort put in is enough to melt that person's heart and being opened to you. Ain't that what Christmas is all about too? :D
very often we ask, what has it that I had received from others, which makes me loves him/her more? that if often sounds like we are made to receive only and and loving the person on that condition.
but really how many people will think that loving is a sacrifice and a sacrifice involves giving? Giving's never about thinking how little I can give (as long as I give it's okay) when the need arises, but it is at the moment you give what you can offer for the someone you loves.
Sacrifice involves letting go of something crucial which is a part of you, often involves a pain as well. As much as we say 'i love you' or 'we love someone', how much of your actions show that you truly love the person? For faith without works is dead.
Of course there is always an extent to how much we can give onto the person, which are determined by various factors you may say. Yeap totally agree on it but on a foundation level, isn't loving means having to give or sacrifice for that someone?
Just like Jesus who was born 2000 years ago, had sacrificed Himself for us on the calvary, of which He bore not just the sicknesses of man but the sins too. Above that because He had gone before us to win Satan in the battles that we are able to claim victories in His name. How wonderful is that sacrifice that the sole purpose of Jesus born onto this world is to be the light of the world, brings hope and salvation to the whole world. And asking any father, who would sacrifice his only son to bear the burdens of the world. A son is too precious for a father to even leave him. Yet God did just that, for us.
So on this year end, make a point to appreciate someone you love by giving, be it spending time or just buy a small gift for them. Though actions are small, yet the thought involved and the effort put in is enough to melt that person's heart and being opened to you. Ain't that what Christmas is all about too? :D
Friday, December 11, 2009
Giving
Should one be more extravagant in giving or to take back some because of a sudden change to his financial situation present or in the future?
Not extravagant to spending till nobody's biz but more towards giving what's necessary and with the intention to bless, rather than giving without the intention to or be stingy about it? blaaaa...
Not extravagant to spending till nobody's biz but more towards giving what's necessary and with the intention to bless, rather than giving without the intention to or be stingy about it? blaaaa...
Decision made
wow.. didn't know things will turn out such but I guess things have to come to an end. somehow over a night, i was prepared and it won't be fair if I insist also.
well, things are gonna be better definitely! better prospects, better future, and better conditioning! sorry that I'd failed You if you had meant to be the other way... I'll do better next time.. :)
well, things are gonna be better definitely! better prospects, better future, and better conditioning! sorry that I'd failed You if you had meant to be the other way... I'll do better next time.. :)
faith activated by works
morning PM for this month had successfully ended with me going for all of them with much sweat but it's really a sense of achievement for myself! Not to forget the help of a great friend as well! :)
This morning He's so sudden... Come and go, and comes again.. And each time he comes it's stronger than the previous. The touch is so tangible that you just wanna stop but when you stop the feeling goes again... I don't think He's trying to be random but it's real exciting somehow.. Haa.. And this morning pretty scary also, like 4+am i suddenly felt the fear for God for a period of time and it goes away again...
This whole week has been a revelation of "Without works, faith is dead." No matter how much you hope and believe, apart from praying and doing nothing else which are considered works, it is considered 'dead'. Faith won't be activated. You will just max your faith tank but nothing outflows from it. And to unlock the faith to do the works, a FIRM decision has to be made. Decision not by saying or thinking in the head but by acting out that decision.
Hit me real hard~
Now back at work, it's Friday and i'm getting excited for the next 2 weeks! wooHoo!! Great things happening and surely more things to come in the new year.
Today I wonder at work, will things turn out the way it should turn out or will I have to make a decision...
Toodles!
*thinking of making that move... should i?*
This morning He's so sudden... Come and go, and comes again.. And each time he comes it's stronger than the previous. The touch is so tangible that you just wanna stop but when you stop the feeling goes again... I don't think He's trying to be random but it's real exciting somehow.. Haa.. And this morning pretty scary also, like 4+am i suddenly felt the fear for God for a period of time and it goes away again...
This whole week has been a revelation of "Without works, faith is dead." No matter how much you hope and believe, apart from praying and doing nothing else which are considered works, it is considered 'dead'. Faith won't be activated. You will just max your faith tank but nothing outflows from it. And to unlock the faith to do the works, a FIRM decision has to be made. Decision not by saying or thinking in the head but by acting out that decision.
Hit me real hard~
Now back at work, it's Friday and i'm getting excited for the next 2 weeks! wooHoo!! Great things happening and surely more things to come in the new year.
Today I wonder at work, will things turn out the way it should turn out or will I have to make a decision...
Toodles!
*thinking of making that move... should i?*
Thursday, December 10, 2009
It's thursday! WEE! 1 more day before the weekend comes! hehe...
so excited for the next 2 weeks until Christmas comes! Coming up are the Candlelight services on 19 and 20th, cell group X'mas+Thanksgiving on 23rd! gonna prepare for so many things for many people! Cards with scrapbooking, gifts beautifully wrapped coming your way!
But gonna need lots of time to prepare. Think the most exciting during this month is really the people is around me, whom I'm so blessed with! :)
Woohoo!!!!
Exciting!!!! Cheerios!
so excited for the next 2 weeks until Christmas comes! Coming up are the Candlelight services on 19 and 20th, cell group X'mas+Thanksgiving on 23rd! gonna prepare for so many things for many people! Cards with scrapbooking, gifts beautifully wrapped coming your way!
But gonna need lots of time to prepare. Think the most exciting during this month is really the people is around me, whom I'm so blessed with! :)
Woohoo!!!!
Exciting!!!! Cheerios!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
random
random shout-out:
BYE AsCOT!!! Have fun in NZ!!!!
Bring back some kiwi okay? LOL!!!
Welcome BACK Phoebe!!! *We MISS you lots! *
*hope your luggage is not too heavy haha...*
DZ come back FAST!!!
:))
*P.s. everyone seems to be flying... when's my turn? :)*
BYE AsCOT!!! Have fun in NZ!!!!
Bring back some kiwi okay? LOL!!!
Welcome BACK Phoebe!!! *We MISS you lots! *
*hope your luggage is not too heavy haha...*
DZ come back FAST!!!
:))
*P.s. everyone seems to be flying... when's my turn? :)*
Thursday, December 3, 2009
it sets me thinking since last week..
what have i been doing to make an impact, to the lives of others and not the things of man?
definitely the lives of others value more...
ppl often thank me for the things I had done for them, but it's really because i did helped them in a task or during an event but after a while such things are forgotten and i realised i haven't really made an impact in their lives.
and i do see around others' blogs giving thanks to certain people who had impacted their lives and you could really feel the gratitude out of it. and it really touched me seriously.
Comparatively to the above, what did i actually do to make sure I did impacted someone to shape his life for the better? virtually nothing...
Being a ministry person is good, you get to expand your values and talents in the area which you are serving in and often most talents are towards objects or things. Suddenly I'm just reminded of Ray telling me before that being in this ministry it's never about being just an admin person, but it's really out to make disciples and growing the ministry through the ushers, though admin can be important...
As we are talking about the Great Commandment, the Great Commission and the Cultural Mandate that includes impacting the marketplace, really what are we executing out of these 3 values?
One word: People. They form the heart and soul of where we are today, the society. So if all I'd done was just helping to stand in the gap for someone in an event, what have I actually done?
point to ponder for the week...
what have i been doing to make an impact, to the lives of others and not the things of man?
definitely the lives of others value more...
ppl often thank me for the things I had done for them, but it's really because i did helped them in a task or during an event but after a while such things are forgotten and i realised i haven't really made an impact in their lives.
and i do see around others' blogs giving thanks to certain people who had impacted their lives and you could really feel the gratitude out of it. and it really touched me seriously.
Comparatively to the above, what did i actually do to make sure I did impacted someone to shape his life for the better? virtually nothing...
Being a ministry person is good, you get to expand your values and talents in the area which you are serving in and often most talents are towards objects or things. Suddenly I'm just reminded of Ray telling me before that being in this ministry it's never about being just an admin person, but it's really out to make disciples and growing the ministry through the ushers, though admin can be important...
As we are talking about the Great Commandment, the Great Commission and the Cultural Mandate that includes impacting the marketplace, really what are we executing out of these 3 values?
One word: People. They form the heart and soul of where we are today, the society. So if all I'd done was just helping to stand in the gap for someone in an event, what have I actually done?
point to ponder for the week...
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