ok! Gonna blog a lil' while before i go back to work.. *bad sol i know but haha.. shhh*

Yesterday's PM was simply great. Really enjoyed God's presence and somehow, things were different as I felt I need to come on to another level of self diligence to seek Him even more and not depending on just PMs or church gatherings to feel His presence as well.
After PM Pastor as sharing with the church some concerns he has over the church and i thought those were pretty relevant not just to the church leadership from the cgls but also to personal life as well.
And one more thing, sitting in the front row was the best man!! Haha nth beats seating in the front and wow yesterday sure was a lot of people as well!

Suddenly it came to my realisation how things had been in my life and i should start changing my paradigm shift of thinking to something i can find a belonging and an anchor to. Definitely I haven't been functioning well in ministry since 2 months back and well, guess it was pretty obvious to some. So the shift of my mindset will come in handy and necessary if i want to move on.
Waiting for things to happen is not the same as having an expectation for that one thing to take place. One involves an action plan, another doesn't. I almost came to a stage of just leaving things as it is because my involvement is causing me to fall due to the weakness of my foundation. Just had a revelation yesterday that i should start working on the basics, strengthen my foundation and be courageous to face my mistakes and correct them.
Ultimately it's not about rising up through the ranks for the convenience of authority over others but about the trust both up and down have in you as you serve and lead. Who's the up? God and the leaders He had placed above you. The down? They are those God has placed under you to shepherd and disciple. Promotion is God-ordained and given upon recognition when you showed that you can do it. There will be little tests to test your capability and capacity to handle what's coming. Your leader may be ready to raise you up, but you have to be ready yourself to take on the challenge and the responsibilities ahead.
What constitutes the challenge and responsibilities ahead? The arenas which your leader had faced before but you are going through it on a different measure, new frontiers you will be breaking through as someone new in the rank, people looking up to you having new expectations, yourself being pushed out of the comfort zone to execute what's necessary. Most importantly it's the growth and your own determination on how you want things to happen.

When there are setbacks, emotions are bound to kick in and more often than not they are the negatives that includes sadness, disappointments, guilt (perhaps), rejected even. Very often as well, the emotions clouds the way we think and feel that it cause us to be dysfunctional. To such an extent we may let things go, drop the ball and expect things to fall from the sky. We definitely need to breakthrough from that.

God as well, likes us to manage our lives in all aspects. Be it family, friends, work, studies or finances, God has called us to be a steward in everything He gave to us. You may not be a leader in a ministry or a cell group but you are definitely a leader in your own life. You lead your life, not others. Yes parents may have a rule over you but on a final stand, you are the one to decide what you want, not your parents nor your friends.
Should one area fail due to poor stewardship, God will not bless you in that area until you rectify it. Sadly but true, however for sure God will bring you out of that situation with victory no matter what, for no matter how long it takes. Yup.

For once in a big day I'm actually not serving on all days but actually gonna spend one day with the cg and friends. Amazing but woohoo! Breakthrough! Anyway I have a switch to be in this new cg call W325 with amazing people and a leader called Phoebe! Haha! I just told myself I'm going to commit to make this cg a happening one, dunno why I did this but definitely it's going to be abreakthrough even for myself as well! Soul winning harvest season is on!!!
The new cg's dynamics are very different and i'm sure I'm looking forward to knowing more of you and enjoying the days ahead with you guys.
I may have just realised as well that I'm not a cgc as well. Or at least I doubt I'm one now. Haha..
Nothing bad or sad about it but it has been a switch of my focus as I want to lead the younger generation with a heart of serving and i want to build them up on their level to the next higher level, not by leading. Yup Pei en may be right that cgc is just a position but the position itself carries a responsibility and a name that people will look up to like ranks in the armed forces. However don't get me wrong that I'm contented to be a normal member.
Somehow God has shaped me to be 'restless if i'm not serving or doing anything at all'. If I do see something that needs to be done i'll just go ahead. It's just me! And I'm definitely more pro in doing backstage work than going upfront to lead people into the frontline of engaging people etc. So that also makes me a very technical person to a certain extent, very SOP etc. And that's something i'm trying to break from to be more creative to how to get things done.

In the area of UM, definitely it has been a calling confirmed by God. And it has been this reason why I'm putting a lot of time to serve. Not a bad thing yeap but have to watch myself also not to neglect cg.
And of course right now things had been mundane, I'm sort of lost in my direction and hence as mentioned by Karen, I need to find an anchor in the ministry, be it Logistics or to the section.
There will come a time when leaders will fail me, and I will fail others we well. As such I have to bear in mind that God should be in the center of this ministry and one i'm hanging on to is Him and not so much on the people though they are still important. Important in terms of discipleship, relationship/friendship and fellowship. Their presence will definitely make a difference in my life.
Right now as mentioned above, I need to strengthen my foundation before my breakthrough can come. Sometimes I'll just have this weird 'instincts' that my breakthrough won't come "until I've settled this", "until I do this well", "until i get that right" kind of thing. Kind of interesting and recently HS had been prompting in my heart about certain things as well and I'm glad there were some leaders that had spoken into my life about certain issues. Thanks for your presence around and nothing beats having them around me.
So what breakthrough am I talking about? I also don't know but i am able to recognise it when I'm in it that's for sure. Until then, I have to continually watch myself in my every step as a form of discipleship to my own and onto God as I deal away with the bad points that's hindering me.

Anyway think I'd typed enough... Better run off to work now. Till later!!

Toodles! =)