reflections

Weee... last night's connect group leaders' mtg was great, what pb shared got me thinking alot.

all the plans about following up new friends, working on the members, raising up new leaders, strengthening the current leaders, setting visions and the list goes on.. pretty exciting year ahead for 2010, but somehow I didn't really share the joy and excitement then. I was just thinking and reflecting...

this year 2009 had been a rough, yet an exciting year. more exciting than a roller coaster I would say? meeting new friends and buddies, going overseas with frenz to celebrate birthdays, new jobs and promotions, new cell group etc. many many things. (who says life with God is boring, haha!)
of course many other new things came on as well, breakthroughs came knocking like never before.

some things from yesterday:
- a leader is never about the appointment. the appointment affirms the promotion, like a cell group leader or usher team leader etc. what's valuable in the promotion is the capacity you grow out of the process and then coming on to a new level.
and being a leader is really about taking charge, braving the storms. many a time people seek appreciation and affirmation through being a leader but how many actually understands the risks and sacrifices being one? and more often than not, they don't get appreciated and it is a lot of back-end preparation, trials and scoldings which makes the front so presentable. the endurance and the long-suffering, going through the fire, the purification process wahh...

- right now it is a character molding process. how many times have I stood back coz' of the big challenges and precisely coz' i'm fighting it alone. giving up is not an option in God's dictionary. it is a favourite cheer in Satan's dictionary. imagine yourself running in the sports stadium and lacking behind, with thousands of crowd, everyone (Satan and devils) is jeering 'Give up, give up' and God in one corner, standing out from the light He emits says a loud 'Move on, I will wait for you at the finishing line!' and that word seems to shadow over the thousand jeers in the stadium. and you continue to run and run, forgetting the jeers and persists on to the finishing line!
the thoughtfulness to follow through, the ability to widen my scope and multi-task, discipline, multiple dimension leadership!!!

- balance is the key. above that it has to be pushed with a vision or a revelation from God. when you have a direction to go towards, you will not be lost and instead, it serves as an added motivation for you to run towards the finishing line.



what a way to end my 2009! welcome 2010!!! :D

just had a chat with Mel last night and guessed one of the paragraphs that I'd typed had reaffirmed her fears, about being detached from the cell group when the busyness of the season comes like Christmas or Easter when the ministry requires more attention?

previously back in Vic's cg, ministry was almost like everything to me and it was pretty common how easy I would 'disappear' from services and cg could only see me during cgm? haha.
Pretty unhealthy yea and it had gotten to me that it wasn't God whom I'm serving for in the ministry but myself. That's when things got haywire anyway but when it came onto the current cg, things were very much different.
by then I had paced down and stabilised myself in ministry in terms of roles and responsibilities and very much of the things are pretty ad-hoc, despite certain commitments to it. things started falling into place pretty nicely for the 1st half and had the chance of fellowshipping more with the cg and knowing them better. So it was the relationships that kept me rooted to this cg.
Pretty unique synergy of how the cg is made up, and esp when I'm older than the rest comparatively which pretty suits me up in a adult cg more appropriately. Anyway despite that, things gelled pretty well for me.

I guess everytime before I move on to a new level, balance will always be a problem for me. As shared in my previous post, cg was there but I didn't felt part of it. Yeap, prayers were made but above the prayers, many more in the cg rose up to the occasion to make things happen which I'm proud of! :)

It is really the balance that determines the outcome of things. Once the focus is lost, the balance loses itself.

this christmas wkend has been a rushed one. haha, busy with serving and having fun all at the same time, not to forget learning from mistakes and the shifting which took place last Sunday. Think this entire week had been a limit-breaking week and I guess I'm running tired from the many events that I was involved in.

Somehow thank God for things which had pulled through the roof and had grown to a new level. But somehow expectations for me seems to be higher than how it should be for me. On the ball for things, ensure things are running and smooth, clearing the back-end jobs etc. Too many to conquer at times. Keeping up with the standards of other leaders can be tiring but I guess it's part of the training, to be certain I had grown to a new level which is expected of me.

How many I wish I can cried for help but even if did, not many actually heard and responded. Those who heard at most could only offer a listening ear (good enough most of the time) but I couldn't be running the show alone. Times when i tried to geared up some to run with me, I've failed in it. Probably asking them to come to my level seemed too hard? I don't know. Still trying to learn how to even out that expectation.
Learning to lead and handle myself in terms of expectations onto others. Many a time I just felt like giving up, moving on to a new ground but i just stood back, cooled off and tell myself I can still do it but the brink of patience and endurance is reaching the peak. Breaking point may soon be there. Will having more people running the race to catch the fire with me helps? I'm not too sure.
Maybe when the ball is dropped someone will just come in to carry on from where it stops, doing a better job than I did? That may sound like a good idea seriously...

This season is quite discouraged in a way coz' while i'm fighting the war on the ministry end, the cg has enjoyed its fair share of victories with the record attendance for the cell group and all. Well happy for them but I didn't really contribute anything to the cell group and i quite felt myself to be a visitor than a member, let alone being a connect grp leader? Yup the cell group has been loving and thank God for them really, if not I would not have been where I am, to do the things I'm focusing on etc.
Pretty oxymoron with what I'm feeling now right? haha.. talk about mixed feelings. :S

laying down one's life for another

what does it mean to lay down your life for the other person?

what's the extent of sacrifice u r willing to make so that that person can advance further because isn't that what it means, to allow the other to prosper?

it is never about the now or the moment, it is always about the finishing line.

what i'm going through now is the preparation of what i'll face in the future.

because of who i am now, i can decide how i want to be iin the future.

all it takes is a decision to change and move forward.

random posting

'What are i doing with my life rite now?' Ever thought of that qn before?

Missed the times when things have been planned out for u, sch fm 7-2, homework fm 3-5 and dinner plus tv session till 10pm, slp and next day u'll be waking up for sch, which the whole pattern repeats again. Haha.
It's nv easy to ensure things run smoothly as you plan and execute them accordingly. Basically things don't fall according to what you Had planned, especially down to the details of mins and secs.

As we proceed into maturity, it's a natural process that we learn to think for others and ourselves as well. Others in terms of blessing or helping them for eg, ourselves means planning for our own future, goal settings.
Planning not just involves thinking what you want to have in the future but also draft out on steps to how to fulfill that dream and vision you have.
God's vision or your dream, it's all the same. U'll still need to plan out and draft out things you need to do so that you can achieve it!
It's never easy trying, yet it is a process that lets us grow from our experiences, to be more wise with our choices and thoughts.

Planning requires sitting down, penning your thoughts, visualising your future, shaping your present to be in line with what you have or want for your future. And lastly, setting goals, short term and long term and as such, writing it down.

It is practical to write what you plan, we tend to forget easily so it is best if it can be written down. :)

Cheerios!

Nothing is too hard to complete as long as you make a decision to do it and focus till the end. That decision is the potential and the focus is the power. Release it and do great things from today! -Solomon

Giving

last leg of the race in 2009. 2 more weeks before the year comes to a close. reflecting back, what are the exciting things and the not-so good things that had happened in your life, directly impacting you in one way or the other.

very often we ask, what has it that I had received from others, which makes me loves him/her more? that if often sounds like we are made to receive only and and loving the person on that condition.
but really how many people will think that loving is a sacrifice and a sacrifice involves giving? Giving's never about thinking how little I can give (as long as I give it's okay) when the need arises, but it is at the moment you give what you can offer for the someone you loves.

Sacrifice involves letting go of something crucial which is a part of you, often involves a pain as well. As much as we say 'i love you' or 'we love someone', how much of your actions show that you truly love the person? For faith without works is dead.
Of course there is always an extent to how much we can give onto the person, which are determined by various factors you may say. Yeap totally agree on it but on a foundation level, isn't loving means having to give or sacrifice for that someone?

Just like Jesus who was born 2000 years ago, had sacrificed Himself for us on the calvary, of which He bore not just the sicknesses of man but the sins too. Above that because He had gone before us to win Satan in the battles that we are able to claim victories in His name. How wonderful is that sacrifice that the sole purpose of Jesus born onto this world is to be the light of the world, brings hope and salvation to the whole world. And asking any father, who would sacrifice his only son to bear the burdens of the world. A son is too precious for a father to even leave him. Yet God did just that, for us.

So on this year end, make a point to appreciate someone you love by giving, be it spending time or just buy a small gift for them. Though actions are small, yet the thought involved and the effort put in is enough to melt that person's heart and being opened to you. Ain't that what Christmas is all about too? :D

Giving

Should one be more extravagant in giving or to take back some because of a sudden change to his financial situation present or in the future?

Not extravagant to spending till nobody's biz but more towards giving what's necessary and with the intention to bless, rather than giving without the intention to or be stingy about it? blaaaa...

Decision made

wow.. didn't know things will turn out such but I guess things have to come to an end. somehow over a night, i was prepared and it won't be fair if I insist also.

well, things are gonna be better definitely! better prospects, better future, and better conditioning! sorry that I'd failed You if you had meant to be the other way... I'll do better next time.. :)

So amazing

I stand amazed, at how wonderful you are. :)

faith activated by works

morning PM for this month had successfully ended with me going for all of them with much sweat but it's really a sense of achievement for myself! Not to forget the help of a great friend as well! :)

This morning He's so sudden... Come and go, and comes again.. And each time he comes it's stronger than the previous. The touch is so tangible that you just wanna stop but when you stop the feeling goes again... I don't think He's trying to be random but it's real exciting somehow.. Haa.. And this morning pretty scary also, like 4+am i suddenly felt the fear for God for a period of time and it goes away again...

This whole week has been a revelation of "Without works, faith is dead." No matter how much you hope and believe, apart from praying and doing nothing else which are considered works, it is considered 'dead'. Faith won't be activated. You will just max your faith tank but nothing outflows from it. And to unlock the faith to do the works, a FIRM decision has to be made. Decision not by saying or thinking in the head but by acting out that decision.
Hit me real hard~

Now back at work, it's Friday and i'm getting excited for the next 2 weeks! wooHoo!! Great things happening and surely more things to come in the new year.

Today I wonder at work, will things turn out the way it should turn out or will I have to make a decision...


Toodles!


*thinking of making that move... should i?*

It's thursday! WEE! 1 more day before the weekend comes! hehe...

so excited for the next 2 weeks until Christmas comes! Coming up are the Candlelight services on 19 and 20th, cell group X'mas+Thanksgiving on 23rd! gonna prepare for so many things for many people! Cards with scrapbooking, gifts beautifully wrapped coming your way!

But gonna need lots of time to prepare. Think the most exciting during this month is really the people is around me, whom I'm so blessed with! :)

Woohoo!!!!

Exciting!!!! Cheerios!

random

random shout-out:

BYE AsCOT!!! Have fun in NZ!!!!
Bring back some kiwi okay? LOL!!!

Welcome BACK Phoebe!!! *We MISS you lots! *
*hope your luggage is not too heavy haha...*

DZ come back FAST!!!

:))


*P.s. everyone seems to be flying... when's my turn? :)*

it sets me thinking since last week..

what have i been doing to make an impact, to the lives of others and not the things of man?
definitely the lives of others value more...

ppl often thank me for the things I had done for them, but it's really because i did helped them in a task or during an event but after a while such things are forgotten and i realised i haven't really made an impact in their lives.
and i do see around others' blogs giving thanks to certain people who had impacted their lives and you could really feel the gratitude out of it. and it really touched me seriously.

Comparatively to the above, what did i actually do to make sure I did impacted someone to shape his life for the better? virtually nothing...

Being a ministry person is good, you get to expand your values and talents in the area which you are serving in and often most talents are towards objects or things. Suddenly I'm just reminded of Ray telling me before that being in this ministry it's never about being just an admin person, but it's really out to make disciples and growing the ministry through the ushers, though admin can be important...

As we are talking about the Great Commandment, the Great Commission and the Cultural Mandate that includes impacting the marketplace, really what are we executing out of these 3 values?
One word: People. They form the heart and soul of where we are today, the society. So if all I'd done was just helping to stand in the gap for someone in an event, what have I actually done?

point to ponder for the week...

fighting

the feeling of being battered after battles, hurt and wounded after countless of near-death encounters, tired from the days of fighting and without seeing the sun.

enemies raging towards you in triumph roars of victory, sounds of carriages and stomping of horses, grounds breaking and shaking as giants like Goliath stomps with each step, thunder clasping in the sky and everywhere you turn is dark with the armour of theirs. there is no light for you.

seeing the scene of you being surrounded by the enemies all-round. the only way to escape is to fight through for an opening or be left dead by the enemies.
either you choose to live, or to give up and suffer under the hands of your enemies.

as you fight, enemies come charging more ferociously than ever. with each slay of your sword, another enemy appears. with each block of your shield, he hits more fiercely, wanting to thump your shield.
as the sword gets blunt and unable to slay, as the shield gets dented and breaks appear, you are left with your bare hands to fight. every punch and kick lands a dramatic blow onto the enemy and he falls. yet, many more are coming.

you are hurt, pierced by the staffs that looks like pythons with evil eyes, slashed by swords that yearns for your blood, bruised by the punches that wants to crush you like an ant, deafened with roars as loud as thunder.

tiredness sets in, desperation to breathe, stop everything and cry increases. fear sets in, hope diminishes. And someone whispered into your ear, "Why don't you give up? Why try? Once you throw in the white towel, everything will stop. You will be released from your pain."


sounds familiar to some?

what will you do when you go through such a trial?
Give up?
Continue to fight, hoping up till the last breath someone comes to kill the enemies in one swipe, up till your very last breath?

rising above situations

in a situation where faith is challenged, that's when the outcome is decided at the point of decision making. To work on the faith, release it or to lose it and give up.

With dreams and visions coming for you, it is often inevitable that it can be big, too big for us but it can be reached and fulfilled. All it takes is a bit of faith and self confidence to reach out for that dream or vision and make it truly ours.

through Him, even the most difficult task can be the easiest as long as you believe. :)

impatience, anxiety, fear, low self-esteem. all these are none but by-products of the journey we go through. throw it aside! Move on, rock on, shake on! Exciting life on the way! woohoo!

the new season started 3 weeks ago, when someone spoke a dream, a target into my life.

since then probably things had changed, my weaknesses start to surface and this time, rather than sinking it through it was reflected right onto me and i could just identify it in the instant. perhaps He's telling me that I should work on those things as I go on.

time is short. but a lot of things to be done. when potential's fully unlocked, nothing really can stop what's to come for Him.

very blessed this few weeks coz' of friends that ard me who's always there to support and make my life so 'random' but fun? haha...

i just saw a new meaning to where i am in this ministry because the relationships had blessed me so, so much! :)

cheers!

no matter what they say, I will always stand by You.

~ Keep on, Keeping on.

no matter what they say, I will always stand by You.

~ Keep on, Keeping on.

there is never the issue of time not being enough. we set the deadline, we set how much time we need to accomplish something.

it is always about the heart wanting to make use of the time we had allocated to accomplish the task by the deadline.

time constantly runs. the factor is only ourselves.

yesterday had a fun time fellowshipping with one of the great racers I've seen in the ministry and for God. shared and crapped on a lot of things but one which hit me was this: The Great Commission.

As the verse says:

Matthew 28:19-20 (NKJV)

¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

So he was asking me what was the great commission all about and my answer was really about making disciples. For you to make disciples, you have to start loving them, care for them and build relationships. And it needs to be cultivated to be a lifestyle.
Ministry is just another platform or a word for most of us to serve in a different arena for God but looking at the whole picture, all things lies down to the basics and it's really making disciples and building relationships. If you are serving in the ministry to exercise and grow your talent, to help out in other areas of the ministry, it's fine. But will all these count if we start to lose the passion for people?
And loving them ain't just asking them how they are doing, week in and out but it's deep down fellowship of wanting to bless each other, to teach each other what we learnt etc...
It did hit me in the back, reminding me as I'm more into ministry, I shouldn't sink too deep and forget about the essence of the entire organisation: people (be it ushers or members or friends).

So i'm pretty gladful for the peeps that had been in my life and their presence makes the difference! :)
Well, that's what friends are for! :)

till next time~~~ :P

Gen 28:10-22 (Jacob's Vow at Bethel)

This falls in the time when Jacob was on his way towards Haran and as the sun had set, he found himself a resting ground and as he slept, he dreamt of God in the heavens with the angels singing and dancing before him.
That's when God had revealed and promised Jacob things similar to what He had promised Abraham in his days as quoted in v13-15: "And behold, the LORD stood above it and said: "I am the LORD God of Ahraham your father and the God of Issac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and your descendents. "Also your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread abroad to the west and the east, to the north and the south; and in you and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed. "Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you."
As Jacob woke up after that dream (which he found it too amazing to be true still), he anointed, dedicated the place to God and proclaimed God as his LORD God (v21).

I was just writing this summary of that portion of the book.. I won't say it's really random but I was feeling down quite a few minutes ago and God just pointed me to this passage. Pretty cool, coz' from the dream God had given Jacob, from Jacob's point of view it might had been big and had probably questioned himself if it could really be done. People around him had done so but there were still doubts in his heart if it could really be accomplished.
I think I'm quite like Jacob in this case where I think some dreams are a bit too big to accomplish and with the setbacks around, I tend to think if it was the right route for me though He had blessed it for me. Otherwise I will be thinking if I'm the right person for the right job coz' there hasn't been any remarkable results for myself and I seem to be dragging the other people down. Surely if it's from God things should had been more progressive than this right?
(P.S. the above are the thoughts I had, they do not composite to anything more than thoughts)

Then as I was typing, God revealed the word 'time' to me. Time is an indication, a measurement for us to guage in terms of us doing things, or waiting for a matter of fact. As quoted from http://dictionary.reference.com, time (noun) refers to the following:

• duration regarded as belonging to the present life as distinct from the life to come or from eternity; finite duration.
• a particular period considered as distinct from other periods

Time is finite, means it is measurable. And from the time someome promises us something to the time the promise is fulfilled, it is considered a period. And usually during this period there are processes involved in having that promise fulfilled, with external factors involved as well. So I sort of got this revelation that feeling down, getting anxious etc are all part of this process in this period of time. They don't mean the end!
It just means to continue walking, walking, and walking, doing what is necessary until the time the promise is fulfilled. Similarly to Jacob again, it took a period of time before the promise was fulfilled for him and who said that walking with God is like a bed of roses? Haha!
But the key point I'm getting is continue to rely on God no matter how good or bad things are, coz in the point of dedication of ourselves to God, it means we are willing to consecrate ourselves to God and believing for the promise He had given us to come through.

Amen~~

Oh man i sounded like i was preaching.. back to work.. haha.. *hope it's not considered too random for someone, haha*

it kills to be sick.. dun like being sick... haiz....

i dun like falling sick seriously... waking up with headaches and it's never a fun thing seriously...

feel like knocking my head against the wall at times but thank God I don't! Haha!!

this wk so far had been fun!

Sat had fellowship with CG in PS and celebrated Mel's bday. Pretty fun of how we sabotaged her but a bit too quick to do it. Haha.. Followed by Starbucks till 2.15am. o.O I think this cg is good at this, hanging out at starbucks till wee hours! but it's fun! haha.. crappy jokes on how Roy never washes his jeans till 3 months later etc, oops! But going home at that timing means 3 hrs of slp before ministry the next day... Haha but it's worth it! :)

Sun was ministry and it was like a bit of mess but thank God for people standing in the gap, but it's like the best day for me personally. Felt that day was the start of a greater breakthrough in the department personally as I'm on the way to change someone's life. Not talking about who but I'm really seeing changing a person through discipleship, one by one. To personally impact them and train them up to be as good or better than me! Though the effects are not great as it is to one, but it is something. Guess i'm discovering a new talent in this area? haha...
Had a talk with 80 as well and he gave me an unimaginable target which i had my jaw dropped for 10 seconds. Will need faith to believe that it will come but i'm more amazed by how blessed I was in my talk with him.
*Difference between a feedback and a complaint lies in the word "attitude". Good attitude gives constructive feedbacks for one to improve but bad attitude detests others with complaints*
How cool is that? :)
Followed which I had a dinner treat from Jenn! haha.. thanks so much for the treat :) next time we go out to eat my turn to treat ya k? :P

Mon and Tue were pretty okay except I found someone which I had known for sometime but didn't realise we got similar interests in history and arts? it's so amazing really! LOL... anyway, more fellowships to go! haha..

so that's all for now... tata!! :):):)

recently have been falling sick and getting 'sick' of gg to work literally at times.. but i need to persevere on.

i need to buck up, buck up, buck up!! Face the reality of life, it's not a foam party but a life full of thorns and you get hurt when you are not careful! of course there are still amazing things ard like friends and family and God.

set things lying around, and you are doomed for death. people will warn you before hand of the danger ahead, you still don't listen, you are on a faster track to death!!
*okok sounds too serious * haha...

just finished helping Mel do up the slides which she had difficulty in.. Haha.. back to work!

Crossroads. I'm at it once again...


Right now the thing to do is really to think and reflect. I'm good at where I am now, but I need to be better for the future.


Sit down, think through what do I want. Pen down and make sure I follow through till I get it. To summarise: I need to plan!!



Keep going head-on with things, I'll just go bonkers with bumps on the head!! haha...



Instincts are good, rationale is good, emotions too, but where should the balance be?


Answers only I can find out for my own.

It's my life, time for me to live it my way God wants it to be.

What about the now? What about the future? All these I need not worry about as soon as I know where I am going.


No point being emotional all the time, over pointless things. Time to face it upfront, tackle it like a man, solve it graciously and with style.

This will be who I am.

what you see now is just the tip of the iceberg, more things, greater and exciting than now have yet to come!

Friendships

Well, just accidentally deleted my post and now I'm trying to recall what I just typed! roar~~~

was blogging in my other blog about how crazy my schedule was over the weekend and had the 8hrs of slp over 3 days but yet, had the most fun time fellowshipping with different ppl!

on Friday nite as Alan's place, God showed me how relationships or friendships can connect each other together, and how that connection opens up heaven over other's lives in terms of blessing them, having fun together and being there for each other. And it is so amazing how people of different dynamics and personality can just link and click with each other.
And I did felt God saying this "Without Me, things that you see now will not be possible."
What I saw was the genuine friendships that has been through the tests of fire and the strength of it cannot be broken by anyone unless God allows.

And I did start to wonder how my friendships are with my friends and how strong are they really. Pastor ever mentioned before as I quote "Friendships are not friendships unless they are tested." Such an amazing thing, invisible and intangible yet it is the link that bonds us together!

I'm beginning to see the pureness of relationships and like what the Bible says "being purer than gold" haha...
As I'm typing this, I realised that relationships open up the doors of our inner self and exposes us externally. But it is through such that people or your friends are able to see the following:

1. The real you.
2. Your strengths and weaknesses.
   
3. The talent and potential within you.
   
4. How to develop or grow you to be a better you.

As you are true to yourself and others, the same principle will take place for others as well. And as each door opens, the greater the opening of the riches of heaven God will open for you. There are always certain things that you ask for, either it doesn't come or more things will come (of course it is not about asking for trouble la...) in the form of bonuses etc.

I cannot emphasize more on that as God make use of people ard us to realise our talent, grow upon it and explode on it; to grow our character, slowly molding us until we are His perfect masterpiece; to share our joys and sorrows that there will always be someone there for us coz' we are never alone. There may be the power of One, but it is the power of one unified body with people of the same vision going in the same direction, making things happen together.

I wish and hope one day, I can really call on a group as my friends (tested in fire by God) where all of us will have the same vision of helping each other to fulfill their destinies, linked up not by weak strings but by the bond of friendship and more importantly, serving God together! I may have different groups of friends and all are great, but which one will truly be those that will stand by me in times of trouble, and those that will hi-bye with me in-season and disappears out-season?

We all proceed with age and stages. Stages of what? Stages of being fed and taking, but it is never a one-sided matter in relationships as those that take will ultimately draw dry of the giver and then, the giver leaves or moves on. Hence we too will experience a stage of us giving to others. To summarize it is like a cycle altogether.

Pretty blessed all round by all the friends I have and want to say thanks for making a difference in my life, big or small!! :)

promotions

woohoo, back to blogging after a week.. haha..

last Saturday was an eventful day as besides having a wonderful fellowship both in afternoon and after service, i had a surprise and that was promotion to Ministry Member in the church! Haha, and thanks to my CG for the great gift! :)

anyway I sort of remembered how i used to be dying to be promoted, to show my worth that 'you will not regret promoting me' kind of attitude back in the early days of ministry. And how out of that killed many of my dreams, deviated me from what was important for me in terms of my life, friends and gf then probably... How it dragged me to the lowest point of my life, with attacks upon attacks that I felt like giving up totally.
then I had my ministry ldrs who came in to pull me up and out of the valleys, how they would talk to me about the importance in serving God only and promotions are from God etc. And God showed me as well that promotions need not be the benchmark to what I can do but it is the potential he gives that allows us to do exceedingly and abundantly. Imagining myself running a Logistics team with core members of the department (thank God for them) for the greatest event the church had organised then: Asia Conference 2008. I won't talk about how it had opened doors for me to be discipled and trained by the leaders but back then, I was only a helper and to people, helper means you can't do more than what a TL does in the ministry but God showed me that it wasn't true through physical actions.
And precisely because of the capacity God had placed in me, I grew from it and rose up to do more things for God in the ministry etc. Though I did get more attn from others (being high profile and all) but all these weren't important. Haha...

Along the way of course there were struggles but it didn't dragged me down but it pushed me up even further wanting to do what God has for me in terms of my ministry. And thank God as well affirmations and recognitions came but I knew all these weren't possible if not for the capacity and God's blessings. Thus it isn't really about being promoted to an appointment that sounds great to people but it is what people sees in you, the real you that they recognises you to the level of your capability, which will in due matches to your natural promotion. :)

But people do ask me how do I feel about my promotion? Sounds kind of bad but I will always say 'ok lor, thank God lor' haha...
But one reason for saying is because the capacity on the inside outgrows what you are capable of on the outside that when it comes, it will serve as a booster and a motivator, not a limiter or a benchmark because God is the benchmark of all things. haha...

:)

Commitment and Responsibility

What does commitment means to you?

What does it mean to shoulder the responsibility given to you?

Will you bear to cross the line to be offensive when necessary to safeguard and exercise what you have been given responsibility for? Or rather than being offensive, to be defensive by sacrificing yourself and having the possibility losing the thing entrusted to you?


Just like the servants with the 5 talents, 2 talents and the 1 talent. The servants of the 5 and the 2 talents took responsibility of the talents, traded and doubled the talents.
What about the servant with the 1 talent? He hid and buried the talent underground coz' he knew that it would be safe as that would not be stolen by anyone. (Seemed responsible enough rite?)
But when it was time to return to the master, the master rebuked that servant and took that 1 talent away from him for what he did.

If we translate it to real life, what if God has given us a talent and told us to be responsible for it by growing it and all we did is to ensure we keep it safe for God by not exercising it? And on judgement day we come before God and He ask us what did we do and realised nothing was done except 'burying' our talent. how angry will He be such that He takes that away from us, even in Heaven?
I don't dare to imagine that really...

So what does leading a life being committed and responsible means to you?

Keep that thought on. :)

Moving along in life is the definite. But how you move along really remains the question.

When you are committed to doing something, the passion and the determination to complete it comes in. But what happens as you stumble in life? Do you withdraw from what you had set out to do or you press in to ensure you finish what you had started.

As you get yourself up from the times of stumble or failure, how do you ensure that no matter how many times such things happen, you will keep on moving and fighting?
It's really about fighting the good fight by having the faith and finding your anchor point. Similarly to a ship out @ sea, to prevent itself from drifting by the currents, it needs to drop an anchor to secure itself on the seabed. When the ship is ready to move out will the anchor be raised.
So what is your anchor point in my life, that no matter how harsh things are, you can depend on that to survive, moves on and excel from?

God is an ever amazing God.. He gave us practical things like people or ministries whom we can fight for or hang on to. But because all things are created by Him, they will one day fade away should God decide so. But really what God wants are through these things for us to look up to God ultimately.

The ever abounding love, grace and mercy from God that overwhelms us.

But all these ain't happening unless we make a decision to go for a break and welcome God to do the changes in our lives.

Now's my turn to make a decision. I'm still torn between of not to go after. Always constantly held back by doubts and fears of inequity. Comparison arises which are unnecessary.
If I truly believe it's good, i should be gg for it than holding back and let things go to waste. It's either a hit or break seriously.
I need to change my life drastically starting from the inside before i can be effective on the outside.!!

Yeap, I need to move on! :) More things are waiting for me. Time to priortise things! And pray! :))



Sss

Life's is about living for yourself but also about living for others too.

But where should the balance be?

Never waste energy trying to be well-known.Today’s hero is tomorrow’s zero.U work on character & leave reputation to Him - Rick Warren

Friends, Love

I wonder and think, at times how miraculous things can happen to you... How different the world seems apart between friends but you can click with one another...













Life is never about walking the journey alone although there are some parts of your life, you have to go through it alone. But the most comforting thing will be your life will never be lonely.


















For me there will always be God, family, friends like the UM peeps, cg members and others as well!
















Friends who are always there to:

Fellowship.

Care.

Concern.

Create havoc.

Provide significance.

Bring love.

Make fun of each other.

Be there for one another.

Laugh. Joy. Smile.

More importantly, call each other FRIENDS.

They may not be there physically, but it doesn't mean they are not there eternally. Swing the swing yourself, and you may just find 10 friends pushing to keep your swing going.















I pray for whatever happens, I'll grow to be stronger and for everything that I go through, I'll know people better, get in touch with them better. I had never been good at keeping friendships long enough to find its worth but entering a church environment 4yrs ago helped to change that a lil'.














Even at the crossroads of deciding where to go, friends who walk together with you until that point will have to decide their path. It may be the same, or a different route. As mentioned in an earlier post, I am thankful for both good and bad, that happened during the journey. But we all have a different path to walk. Will still be constantly praying for you that you will meet others who will support you in your next phase of journey.




















I ever had this revelation that life is full of crossroads. On the road you will meet different people, travelling down the same road. At one junction, some will turn left, some may head straight, all depends on what destination each person is heading to.
But definitely at each road or season if you can identify, some will be there to be with you. At another season, different group of people appears. I guess that's how God works. When it is time to let go, it is to let go.

Only love is able to endure through all things that even as they go on differently from you, love still abounds among all.

1 Cor 13:13 says: "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Thank God for the friends that have been walking with me and never fails to believe in me. Although sometimes we can be very irritating to each other. Haha.

Name as it is, you guys have always been important and shaping me to be who I am and who I will become. Thanks in advance for those who may come in later too! :P

If I'm not able to move on with you as you take on a different route, I wanna thank you for the short part of the journey that I spent walking with you. All the best in your future endeavours. :)

Cheers.

As what Pst mentioned, "Keep on, Keeping on."

hey...

if u r reading this, will things stop as it is? I thought after clearing up the air it will be alright but it seemed to have gotten worse...

feels weird even when smsing or msning you. like no topics now and feels dry...

is it me or is the way it had been handled?

this just suddenly came into my mind:

Step up, Step out.

how cool.


thanks for the fellowship yesterday. it was good. :)

Do I resent so much of ppl that's around me that instead of ppl loving, i just push them away?

or those i choose to love isn't really reciprocating and because of situation, things didn't happen the way it should be.

how contradicting.

the power of intervention, to intercept the aftermath of matter from worsening by cutting deep into the roots of the problem.

this morning is such a killer...

thank God still for bringing things and myself through.. still got hiccups here and there but felt things could have been done better.

can tell my colleagues wasn't very happy but still nice enough to advise and stood in the gap for me.

felt so challenged today but things will be better..

Farewell

Just managed to send Maria and Carlos off as they are flying to meet Jing in Melbourne for a gd 10 days!!

So jealous!!!

I also wanna go holiday too!! Roar!!

Maybe i'll go diving with Li ting they all at the last wkend of Sep? Haha.. I wanna have a break from work, getting more and more stressful but definitely it's not the end solution coz i still got 2 more yrs with them!! I need a new found passion!

Anyway congrats to one more Ra to the Rara family.. Rayanne!! Haha.. Shall viait them soon and in the meantime, it's back to work tmr, had encountered a huge obstacle but things will still work together for those who loves Him!

I shall make it happen!! :)

In the meantime as well, enjoy guys!! See u guys back on 21st ya? Hee!!

UM - My life then and now

time for some short update haha..

Was just thinking recently how my life had been full of ups and lil' downs but they are the tougher ones ard. :P and thinking of how my life would be if i hadn't step in to answer the vision to enter Usher Ministry back in Nov 2005.

I remembered back then i had only joined church for 6mths probably when Pst was mentioning in one of the svcs that we would be shifting to a new, temporary hall called Singapore Expo. Being the nerd me, i wouldn't know where it was but it was like, oh ok! Haha..
Strangely enough, Pst was encouraging ppl to enter ministries to serve esp when we shift to the new hall. At the same time UM was having a recruitment but it didn't really occur to me then to join this ministry.

However about the same wk, out of nowhere I had this strange vision of me looking towards Echo from the main stage and i was serving as an usher then!! (the features of the hall i saw in the vision reflects EXACTLY as what u see in expo today)
So being the young and excited boy, i quickly called and told Vic of the vision i had and asked if i could join and after she said yes i was like over the clouds! Lol..

Anyway then i just signed up and they said i will hear fm them in 2 wks so i was like ok.. Then 2wks passed, no news, then 1 mth and 2 mths, no news!! I was like am i not selected for an usher and was so anxious about it that i kept pestering Vic (practically disturbing her too) asking did the ministry mentioned anything or gotten back to her etc and whenever i hear a 'no', my heart just sank deeper than the Titanic did. Oops!

Then came 2mths later when I saw Hui Erl then popping by during my cg debrief, asking Vic to sign a ministry form. Iwas so delighted to see her coz finally i'm entering into ministry!

Tada and there i was in the first lesson and my trainer happened to be the super-tall and handsome Peng Boon who did an orientation with us. Being communion wk, the trainees (me, pin de and josephine) helped out in communion as per norm and after debrief, we were told to return same time next wk.

Anyway the following wk, we returned same time, same place and when we approached Hui Erl, i rmbed her expression then as she found out she had forgotten to call us up for training and no arrangements were made then! How funny was it? But being in the last svc, there were bulletins to be prepared and so we helped out while Hui Erl thought of sth for us to do.. It was then 11 inserts to slot into the green A4 bulletin and it was CRAZY with the no. Of inserts and not to forget, 2000 bulletins to do! Haha.. Here comes the best part, when we gathered for briefing, we were introduced as NEW ushers to Sect 11! (imagine untrained ushers becoming new official ushers?) haha.. I could rmb still the dress code then was blue and there was agnes, jul and shirley standing in front of me talking and giggling as we were being introduced.
(dun ask me why i rmb the, but i just did)

So there we go, my first official duty as an usher given to the last svc in JW! I was serving under Joelle then in Echo i rmbed too..
It was great fun overall till then! Haha..

Then came to the early days of Expo when chair arrangement was common, adding chairs during svcs like nobody's business and sweating and bleeding was a common sight! Haha..

But the best part about those days were the Support on Sats when ushers fm all groups would come together to slot in inserts into bulletins etc.. (that pt of time per svc need to do about 8K ++ bulletins and inserts were still as crazily many then)
It was the time of knowing diff ppl fm diff grps and svcs and crapping, seeing everyone working together to complete the tasks at hand and all the fun and laughter fm jokes and fellowship! It was really great and the whole UM was like one big family! all the happenings that took place in Conf Rm area where there weren t fans and all that was free and in abundance was the sweat fm everyone, esp the bros! Lol..

Because at that time attire would be formal with tie for ur duty svcs, i bought 2 formal tops (blue shirt with blue tie and brown shirt with brown tie) for that reason only.
Being new to the place, we had to serve every wkend etc and it was real tiring plus dun really get to sit with cg! So u wld find me wearing on one wkend a blue shirt and the other wkend the brown and vice versa. The whole process lasted for 6mths before it was more settled down.. Haha..

Well it was then my breakthrough came too.. I was asked if i could help more at team level and i was promoted to helper then, June 2006, just before my bday. Haha.. That was when my capacity was challenged to take on leadership roles and to handle things fm what i could do as an usher.
It was then when i had to juggle between NS and ministry and cell group in church... Pretty hard but all came up strong.

However being young and straight in thinking, i was very into the idea of promoting to TL at that time, as slowly i transited away, slowly fm serving God to serving for that posn.
You could say at that pt of time i was super availing for ministry and would fight to do this and that. It created a gd impression for my ministry leaders but it upsetted the balance i should have for my cg and i started to neglect it. How hurting it is to hear that 'Oh Junius is in ministry, so he's not sitting with us, every wk' that it became a routine. Ministry started becoming a substitution for my 'cg' which i would devote my heart and soul to, for the wrong purpose as i lost sight of God in the ministry.

So came the time when i would compare with people also why are they promoting faster than me and i would not let it go etc.. (quite silly as i come to think of it now hahaz) jealousy and envious-ness took over me and i started to feel sour towards things but i still continued to serve.
Only different is, i was stagnant. Whole process lasted for 2 yrs and whenevr my ldr would ask Vic for my promotion, it was voided straightaway and that upsetted me even more.. But the passion to serve continued.

To expedite, along the way God did some things that changed the way i see things:
1. Arrange for ldrs who became my close friends and mentors me.
2. Halted my promotion and brought me to square 1 in ministry all over again.
3. On June 2008, he gave me a revelation to be more people oriented. *the word in season for me then was 'People'*
4. God started putting ppl in my life that values my existance and touched me with their love.

So in that season came 2 other revelations as well, the story of Mary and Martha when Jesus was in the house and the word 'Ministry exists when there is people. Without ppl, no ministry will exist'.

And all these things slowly brought me out fm where i was and it was then things started became more bright for me as i start to take on mentor roles, exposed to event plannings a d being a PA to a section ldr.
Being a PA to Karen was a great breakthrough for me as i could really see how she had trained me to be where I am, the sight, planning and paying close details etc. She had a plan for me, just like God did! And she had absolute trust in me, protecting me like how Jesus did for His disciples then. I had never experienced such a great ldr and fren like her. :)
Then came my first big day event which was Asia Conference 2008 Logistics when I had the chance to be made IC for the Logistics Ops, with the most 'zai' ldrs like Tze Hwa, Jeremy and Karen overseeing and guiding me altogether!
That was when i felt my capacity exploded too, the planning, coordination between depts in church, working close with other ldrs And the stamina to last through 6 full days (inclusive of support day) of ops! Not to mention the heavenly numbers of counting in tens of thousands etc etc etc...

think at then i started to earn the trust of ldrs and i was involved with many other things too.. I was at that time feeling compromised because of the appt barrier between myself to other ldrs who are higher in rank than i am..

Being limited in your thinking limits your capacity for greatness.

Thank God for Yonghui then to constantly reaffirm me, that being a helper doesn't mean I cannot do great things for God, even as compared to other Team ldrs etc.
That came as an encouragement and it brokethrough my thinking to just serve with ease and because of all these events, my attn turned towards serving God and meeting the needs of the ministry once again. More powerful, i had in my mind that i cannot neglect my members! Haha..

So that's when I start to see my life being changed and as a bonus because of the change, i had the affirmation fm my zone ldrs like B.Darren and Phoebe who believed in my talent for ushering and event planning!

Yea.. So 3 yrs of my ministry life all summarised in this story.. Wonderful now looking back at my joruney and wondering how the next 20yrs of my life will be in this ministry that's for God and for ppl and how lives will be impacted because of such!

I'm still in awe of how much I had grown because of what God you did for me and the people who believes in me!

I never regretted stepping in since the day I'd decided to lay down my life for this ministry and church!

Thank you God!

Tata!!

Special credits to go to: B.Darren, Victoria, Phoebe, Adeline, Yonghui, Eugene, Karen, Jeff, Peifen, Hwee Tze, CS, Ee Rong, Eliz, Tze Hwa, Eric, Alan, Yew Weng, Jeremy, Agnes and many others...

You are the reason why I'm still here today, serving God like never before... Thank you all..

my life in a twist

I ever wonder how my life can be so full of colours and twists with the many turns at unexpected corners and sometimes God can just catch you by surprise...

Recently quite I have been talking to many people on the topic of 'relationships' and realised that I hadn't quite gotten why the previous had failed and the consequences were quite dire...

It only boils down to one thing: Vision.

I was a t a loss of words when someone asked what vision do I have for myself and for my partner?

What am i good at that deserves that someone?

Funny but it served as a revelation for me. I could have sarcastically passed it off saying my way of doing things is taking one step at a time but we all know how important it is to plan and having a vision is part of the planning!!

And it do hurt seeing all the damage done and how much i desire the hurts can be healed through time and exponentially but that isn't quite possible.

How sad it is to break a person's life because you fail to visualise and plan for the future, worse still being ignorant about it.

That's sth I got to do before continuing to move on.

so exciting! I just gotten my new workstation that includes a 20inch wide screen LCD!!! Haha.. How i wish I can bring it home to enjoy but using it at work will still be as exciting! :)

Work's really going on fine but 1 thing, 1 thing I really got to do is: Multi-tasking. If you think I can multi-task while during svc duties or logistics, I will advise you to re-consider. Haha..

On the road for more expansion!! WooHoo!!

On a side note, very random too.. people ard me seems to be getting attached, married, or giving birth soon.. what's with the trend now sia.. :X

touching lives.

this coming wkend is the long awaited SOT Graduation! Haha.. it's not me that's graduating but some of my frens are..

I'm just thinking for this wkend though it's like a norm for some, what can i do to spice things up a little for them?

do and write some cards? haha.. it's been AGES since i last touched my SB materials and almost certain dust is collecting upon them. :S

it came to me as a revelation for the last few days how some words or a sentence can help to touch a person's life and make him or her feel affirmed and wanting to continue the journey. (miss M, i'd seen the blog post and thanks for allowing me into your life to guide ya haha)

i need to build back the personal touch and make the term 'human' more real to me in life because i need to function around people and not circumstances. :)

back to work now.. tata.. see if u'll get a surprise from me this wkend haha. :P

Definition of Life

How do you define life?

What standards or criteria will you use to determine how good or bad your life is?

Being Teachable and Leadership

wow.. looks like dust collection level's up to 1metre in this blog, better clear the dust away, haha! *blows off the dust*

This morning when I woke up, amazingly these 2 words came into my mind and was pondering over it which seemed like hours but only minutes had passed because of the things that followed.

Wanted to cry somehow as I reflected upon myself in these 2 areas: Being Teachable and Leadership.
Teachable not just to the leaders above me, but personally more towards God. How has my life being effective enough for Him, not on Saturdays and Sundays but during the days outside a church environment?
The way I commune with people, maintaining and fostering relationships, productivity, time i spent with Him and more importantly, my attitude.
Frankly to say on the outside I may look great or seem so good in doing certain things that I can't be left out, deep down at times I may feel so lost or my attitude simply sucks to the bottom (forgive me for using this word, haha)

And when poor attitude or character is within you, God is not hesitant about surfacing it really, to people who are dear to you when He's serious about you reflecting and changing it. No longer it's about the guilt, being regretful for your actions or being apologetic about the whole thing because previously you may have wasted your chances before. Well that's me on some occasions recently really. Areas of discipline, finances, faithfulness.

God's faith is ever abundant but there is a limit to what He can tolerate before He takes on a different route to deal with you (just like parents who will try the harsh method if the soft method don't work on the child, yea...)
My weakness is really presenting myself as being weak, person that's not 'perfect' to who? My leaders whom I hold dear to, my friends and peers. Probably it's the pride issue too coz' you may start thinking that this person may not respect you or let you handle this and that anymore after this incident so you try to cover up to show that I can do this and that...
So PTL really that He choose to deal issues with me using that weakness of mine. Not saying it's bad but it's really comical when He just simply knows you more than you know yourself? Haha...

Being teachable is about having the right attitude, to learn from your mistakes, using them as a form of foundation building, and building yourself up from it.
Being unteachable will be having the bad attitude, feeling sour from the mistakes you'd made that you think of lots of reasons to cover them up, and instead of using them as a form of foundation building, you start building the mistakes up.

Of course it takes a decision to have that. And probably some things to go along will the boldness and courage to admit and learn, willingness to repent and reflect, and doing the right actions to rectify. But doesn't all sums up to having the right attitude and you definitely have to be sincere about it and ensures a thorough follow-up such that it do not come back to you again. i guess also that how we should deal with all the trials we experience, now and the future.


Later on God was showing me on the area of leadership and reminding of the people who are with me like my dear ushers in my usher team, the LPs in the Logistics dept and my connect group members plus cell group.
Sounds like a lot of things to take care right? Haha...
Suddenly something surfaced in my heart that said "I cannot bring you to greater heights to lead unless you are willing to change and being teachable" (some sort along the line, still in sleepy mode at that time)
Thank God for all things that had happened and progressed like the chance to be more involved in Logistics dept, stepping up to be a connect grp leader and BS teacher again and recognised and acknowledged to be released into serving in UM.
But those above are already capacitated to the max at my current level. Meaning with what I am now, those are the things I can do at max. And I had been running and serving at this level for too long that it's becoming dry seriously.
Leadership's not about having the power and the chance to lead or serve. That is the base but it involves one on a more personal level whereby you have to constantly push yourself to greater heights, how? by fresh new revelations and visions coming from God through time spent with Him in prayer, fasting and reading of the Word etc.

Only when God builds you up, can you build up others!

No one can function as an effective leader when all He does at best is to bring those under him up to his level and stops there. Growth is an ever progressive thing really. What's the point when all he can do is to build people up when he doesn't or can't build himself up through God? (i'm speaking to myself actually, hahaz!!)
In 2007 on my 21st bday, God brought me to a transition of being a people's person and not ministry person and reminded me that my world should and will surround people.

Yet I feel so ineffective in the last few months when I'm shock to find I had nothing to give, feed to my ushers or my disciples and even if i could, it was all the things I had from the past which superbly are not for the now.

I'm not sure but God works in amazing way at times. He will place people who are really excellent in their own field or talent under me and potential is so evident in their lives that you just can't wait to unleash their potential to serve God in His kingdom. Peeps like wei liang, yao peng, jacob, carlos, mark, tim, gordon etc. So many, so many. I'm so proud of them for who they are!
I do not want to come to a point whereby I'm so ineffective that they will disregard me as their peer and mentor because that will indicate one thing: I had failed in my responsibility as a leader, in the spiritual realm and especially in my personal life.

I was being reminded of this teaching "When you hit the ceiling of your growth, learn to breakthrough by receiving new revelations and visions from God. Only then can you be able to feed those whom you are discipling."

How true is that!!
I'm on a competition to change myself for the better because time is running short, even as I'm blogging right now. I need to start now.


*A lil' summary that I have just out of what I typed*
Being teachable yourself to God --> Transition in self --> Grow to be a better Leader --> Discipleship to others --> Leading others to grow.

(P.S. God is so amazing to flood so many things within a short few mins with Him today only. Blown away!)

610

this is the number i'm going to play around with for the next 4 mths till Dec...

gonna triple my capacity from the previous proj I had..

sometimes i wonder how crazy MOE can be at times... :S

oopsy..

Life in the form of water...

I need to have the faith, boldness and confidence...

Friends 'Forever'

I was asking someone this question today: "Because friends come and go throughout your life, what are the things that leave their tracks permanently in your heart?"

Got this answer from that someone: "Because memories and influence are like ideas, they are bulletproof and cannot be destroyed unless they are forgotten."

Had this question in mind out of a sudden, what does it mean to be a 'BFF' to someone and how well will you function as a friend for the someone you care for?

Since young I was always intrigued by the idea of having as many friends as possible coz' it means you will never be lonely and the number will reflect how popular you will be. I ever remembered it came to a stage in pri 2 or 3 that we even compared the number of friends we had, and whoever befriended one cannot befriend the other? can imagine how ridiculous it could have went, not to mention the childishness involved but those were the days really.
Then as I grew up friends really came as those to whom I could connect and chat up with, those that I needed help from and vice versa. The magical thing was the connection was just there and perhaps I didn't do anything to start up and to maintain it, it just hanged as long as we saw each other.
That lasted through polytechnic really and during those days I thought friends were a God-given thing, a very natural thing so I could really care-less about making new friends or bother to keep in contact after we move on to the different phases of our life. Because what happens will be as I move on, there will still be new friendships forged etc. (i know alot of ppl will kill me for this please forgive me k? i was still young and innocent then.. :S)

Of course from primary to secondary school I had my fair share of my so-called good friends who would always be the bully in my life and never fail to make my life 'interesting' yea... (i used to be the 'teacher's pet' for certain teachers coz' i was being too initiative in helping out so perhaps that's why i always get ostracised or bullied for that.)
[Somehow being too helpful always seem to be the indication that this student is a boot licker etc and as long as others don't like it, they just do things to irritate that student to make themselves feel better for no reason during my time. I wonder if this still goes on now? Haha..]

Anyway at around the same time as well, I started to see that other peeps were organising gatherings etc and it came to a realization that I was very much in my own world that i took a lot of things for granted...

That was around the time also I first stepped into CHC and it wasn't the praise and worship that wowed me really, nor the preaching but it was the friends that kept me rooted to the church and cell group. At first it felt weird coz' from the family i was brought up in, being exceptionally warm to others is 'alien' to me. That's when the initial tracks of a friendship was left in my heart really.
Perhaps it was then I started to have a different perspective of how a friendship should be like, a 2-way traffic that offers a refuge and shelter for the parties as long as they are willing to make accommodations and sacrifices for each other.
How bonded or strong the friendship stays depends on how much efforts are placed.

Because of this as well, there's a circle of influence in the friendships you have. Your life values and principles, attitude and character all closely tied to each other on this string called 'committed friendship' that makes you vulnerable to each other to a certain extent. How well is the influence also depends on the level of connectivity you have with each other on the grounds of similar interests and common values and visions both may be going for.

And as you spend time with each other through various activities and fun, different areas are exposed and that's also when you get to know each other better.
That's how memories and influence comes in really. You remembering perhaps what your buddy has done for you on your 21st bday for example, and how his life values had changed you to be part of who you are today for example.

I totally quite agree with the answer given by 'someone' coz memories and the influence are really those little things that remind us of who they are and unless they are forgotten, they cannot be removed.

Anyway of course friends do come and go because of different reasons and it's really a matter of treasuring the times while you are around for each other really. Along the stages of life, there will also be those who will be the closer ones that you will call buddies or best friends and those who may be good friends or just friends.

So have you ever in my life until this stage, have a fair share of having exciting adventures with friends and looking forward to have more?

I would say for myself I'm looking forward to greater surprises ahead. I don't want my friends to fall and as much i want to move together with them. =) I'm still trying to be as best I can a good friend for those I can reach out to and still looking out for a buddy whom I can connect to.

So looking at the title " Friends 'Forever' ", perhaps it's true when you look at 2 perspectives, one being the lifelong friends you will get to enjoy their company from the time you know them to death and you know in your heart 'this friendship will last forever'. The other perhaps to be the memories you have with them that will last with you, forever.


Signing off,
Junius Solomon

wanna do...

Jing's gonanna leave in an hour's time.. Do take care pal.. :)

So many things i want to do when i go back to s'pore on mon and before o'm back at work..

1. To go to Pulau Ubin to explore the place!
2. Wind down at ECP and do self reflection.. think i need that alot..
3. Marina barrage to just admire the view of marina bay..
4. Shopping!! Need a jacket seriously.. Can't find anything nice at batam.. Sad ah..

Yea... And not to imagine the amount of work to complete when i go back to work but it's gonna be a good start.. Amen!

For Jing Wei

Just want to dedicate this girl that will be on her way for further studies this friday!(like so good omg)

How did i first met her? It was like one of the combined mtgs we had for the first time at Damien's place before svc started and I saw this familiar looking girl with Melina in the MRT station and first thought was.......

Anyway slowly as the days and months passed as I began to know her, the better side of her automatically reflects itself in terms of her passion to serve in choir, bringing melodies across the church during the service, standing in the gap for her fellow friends whom she regards so closely that losing one may pain her so much, and being so friendly all the time who never fails to smile for others though her day can be real bad, always so availing towards helping out in cg or her friends too.

Very often it's not about the amount of things that you do but it's really the people you serve with the passion that comes from the heart that touches people and she has done just that, which totally blew me away~~

Oh not to forget as well, this girl is a real genius towards food, especially buffets and she's a total humongous eater as well (oops, sorry but i hope this won't chase guys away!!!) and the way she studies and writes on how to eat buffets is a real mind blower that you might have thought she did a 10 yr research on just eating buffets!
Also also also!! She's a fanatic for Coke too! Which totally rocks my world coz I love people who loves coke too! Haha... I still remember the period of time when she would go on a coke fast and how this evil friend of hers always psycho her to break fast on coke and it went on working well a few times? Haha!!
Anyway, besides being coke and food buddies, she's also a very motherly and humble person too, very sacrificing and spontaneous as well..

Like how? Last Saturday in fact I couldn't join the cg for dinner and it would be the last dinner we'd have as a cg as I need to rush back to office. So I was randomly trying if she could make it for supper as I really wanted to fellowship with her, guess what? She was very on about it and I was so honoured at that time really coz' the timing was horrendously late like 11pm yea... But she still made the effort to meet up and I was so touched! Too bad I couldn't stay later because of the last train factor and I still have ministry the next day, haiz~~

I definitely wish we have more time to fellowship and learn from each other coz' I had benefited so much from you and you are such a fun person to spend time with!! *No wonder you got a BFF like Maria too*
I'll look forward to our online fellowship and being more crappy with each other but in the meantime, just know that you'll always have friends (like me) who will be there for you (though not physically at times) in spirit and in prayers k?
So gonna miss you when you are away and sorry I can't be there on Friday to see you off but my prayers will be with you always! Next time I see you is probably in 6 mths time when you come back for hols but if I got the liberty of money and time, I will want to go to Melbourne and make sure you'll fulfill your duty as the guide k? :)

Anyway, all the best really and make sure you study hard k <-- if not i'll knock ur head? Will look forward to your return really! Take care buddy! :)

wildlife

ever thought how is it like to be staying in the wild? Or at least being in a place where u dun feel comfortable and totally new at?

Here i am, being in a place where i'm new to and ppl that i'm not familiar with.

How will i transit with this change and survive out of it?

Sounds bad? I dunnno mysekf but i hope things will be better yea.. See u guys soon! I miss singapore le.. :(

choices

think everyone has heard before this about 'Life is all about choices' and through sermons we learn that we are never without choices because God won't touch the soverignity of the heart.
So it's always about u deciding what's the right thing for u yea.

There will surely be doubt and fears especiallly with making the right decisions and often it may not be the best decision. but when making a decision, it involves not just the short term but a long term consequence as well.
When in doubt, learn to believe in God for Him to guide u.

If u r reading this i hope i'll be able to help ya to make the right choices. I dun really know what's going on in ur life but if u r willing will you allow me to come in to help u make ur life better too? :)

In this case, I made my choice. :))








H

hey i'm back again! Haha.. Probably after this post i may not blog till after the 7th after i return fm my reservist? Lol..

I'd been very blessed with the ppl God has placed over my life and had learnt a lot of things through the fellowships and the advise had been so great and indeed it was a revelation! Thanks so much really!
One thing was 'Leadership is not about being assigned with a tag or a position, but about ensuring things do not go wrong under his watch'. I'm not sure how cool u find it but to me it was real solid and it really served as an encouragement for me. :)

There are many things in life i need to settle and certainly within ministry life and church thank God for the progresses etc! But i believe there will be greater things for me because He is a creative and progressive God!

Even in the midst ofall the transition i'm still excited for the things to come in ALL areas of my life!! :)

Woo!!

Transformers

Woohoo! I'm so excited for this movie later!

But I'm just thinking... How has your life been transformed over the years as you continue to grow in maturity?
I'm not just talking about the transitions in life from one education level to another or proceeding to the next stage of life only, but more than that how has the changes transformed the way you view about life that shapes who you are today?

Some of us may, because of less-complete family backgrounds, grow up to be more passive towards starting a family in the future for example. Or because of a near life-and-death incident that a part of you makes you treasure and appreciate more of your loved ones?

Life is great if you are just proceeding in it alone and all about life is yourself but ever considered that it involves others as well? Our destiny and fate ties in closely with one another, be it your family members, friends or peers. Some are there to protect you and to offer the guidance and be your mentor, while some are just the passer-bys that may spice up your life during their short-stay.

Anyway just want to say treasure those that are around you because every single one contributes to who you may become in the future. :) And that's the transformation from now to the future for you.

was just being reminded of this song and was so amazed by how much impact this song brought to me. :) enjoy.




Title: Through Christ
Written by: Donna Lasit
Album: Generation Unleashed Live Worship (2008)

(verse 1)
When the darkness tries
to hide my way
Your word is the light
that guides my faith
I will trust in You (x2)

(verse 2)
When my heart is weak
& I've lost my way
I will lift up my eyes
and choose to say
I will trust in You (x2)

(chorus)
I can do all things through Christ
I can move a mountain if You
Are the strength of my life
I can do all things through Christ
When You are the strength of my life

(verse 3)
In Your presence I find
strength renewed
I find courage to stand
& a hope that is new
I will trust in You (x2)

(bridge)
Whatever trials come my way
I will worship You always
Forever trust in Your unfailing love

Whenever doubt and fear press in
I still hear Your voice within
Forever trust in Your unfailing love

been sometime since i last blogged.. :)


recently i'd been trying to define what's the season i'm going through right now and manage to come up with such:

1. learning to take the lead and influence (with a clear direction and the right one too!)
2. taking careful steps and not to take things for granted.
3. build on my relationships with people and family.

this is by far what is the most important right now and of course there are other things though. seriously speaking i need to find back the 'C' ness and abandoning the laziness within me... One quality of a 'C' person is actually paying attention to details and following through till the end. Thank God somehow that He will just pinpoint me to different areas that requires my attention, no matter how small or how big it is and the capacity to resolve them.

I'm quite honoured and glad at how things are progressing for me in ministry and logistics but as what Phoebe had mentioned before, life's also about impacting people's lives as well. So it sort of reminded me of why I am in this ministry in the first place. People.
And more importantly, what I am anchored to that no matter how big the storms are on the surface with bad things happening to me, I am still hanging on and very happy to say it's really the ministry and the relationships I have within that keeps me going. Of course at the very end there's still the love of God and all.

Expecting for something to happen by end of FOP this year. So will see how it goes. :)

toodles.


A picture speaks more than a thousand words.

yup, sometimes what's being said won't help at the last min...

but what is the true meaning of serving?

doesn't it ultimately means serving God, ensuring all things had been done to the best in all aspects? more often it's the people that's a concern because he or she is the one to determine the priorities but bearing in mind that the primary focus is still primary and not secondary.

yup perhaps it's being me that i want to ensure all things are fine in the Logistics department and that the ops will not jeopardise the whole svc and if possible i will want to see to it.

you asked me before if it was possible to get someone else to do it. probably it's me not able to let go.

i just need to learn to let go. whatever happens at the end i'll learn to accept it. it's still not about me at the end. i dun need to prove to myself, anyone or to anything. yup.

had a revelation just 2 days ago:
"Never be limited to where you are, think out of the box, make things happen."

this came by when I was talking with a lecturer and she had asked if it was possible to arrange for an excursion for her class the next day. Administration wise it was not very possible because of it being last minute and the cost may be beared by the office. More importantly, I wasn't sure how to go about doing it. So in the end the answer was a 'no'.
But at the end of the day after much discussion between my boss and the lecturer, arrangements were made for the participants to attend the excursion. Things were made real, just like that.

So in the end, it's just the effort i was willing to put in to make it happen? I knew something could have been done but i resisted that.

sometimes i wonder... what does it take for one to be a good friend to the other?

what's the right step to take really? I just wonder reaally...

perhaps whatever you give may not be reciprocated back to you in the same or different measure, and often nothing comes back to you and you feel that whatever you had done has gone down to waste?

always so envious about others having their own clique, own close friends and even BFFs..

just sth random..

yay!!

Heading of CHC KL for svc tmr! Haha happy!!

:)

P.S. Happy Birthday Shirley! :)

Counting down to mine in ? days? :S

very often it's not about the end-destination, but the journey itself.

and what makes the journey so exciting and valuable, it's the people that walks with you in the journey. =)

cheers!

maybe you can say that sometimes i worry too much, or i serve or being involved too much..

maybe i am..

yup there will be someone who may be there to make sure things are gg on fine..

but what if, i can make a difference when I'm there? or i am that someone though not all the time?

you never knows how God works, only He knows, prob as well He had meant you to be there?

last weekend was a chiong period for me.. hahaz..

SOS CWBS was great, had 2 revelations, one being a leader you cannot be spiritually dry and being one means you got to pray more, constantly receiving from God so that you can lead your people by feeding them as well. Which led to the second revelation about discipleship is all about feeding as well. *not physical feeding but being a channel for them to connect to God as well*

Saw Melina's blog 2 days ago and she was mentioning "By serving, am I missing out on more things as compared to if I hadn't served?" This question came to me many times, both in thoughts and in person from others.
What actually is serving? What makes someone serve? And probably what does it take for someone to serve?

My own definition? Serving involves a sacrifice, be it time or people, on personal expense sometimes. A good example may be some extra time needs to be taken to plan and prepare sermon or do lyrics for cgm.
Serving in a ministry is not just about taking the extra time to serve, but is why you are serving. Everyone can serve in a CG all the way to being a CGL but why are there people serving in ministries like usher, TV etc? Coz God from the beginning has given each of us a talent, unique to each of us that enables us to serve in diff areas.
Serving = meeting the needs of people, the organisation as well.
Of course I'm not totally into serving all the way and hence lacking out on the time needed to spend with our loved ones and family coz simply too much serving is unhealthy. That's why wherever you are in, cg or ministry, we got to be human-focused and not just ministry-focused as well. One way is to have good relationships with the people such that ministry = family to you as well. Hence striking a balanace is very important.

Whether you find losing more when you are serving depends solely on the purpose of your service onto others and your attitude towards it.
If you are all for serving for material reasons, very soon you may just burn out and when you start losing control all else will fail.
If your attitude is bad, rest assured whatever you do, it will be ineffective.
So it's always important to put God in the centre of our life and ministry as well coz He alone is able to plan the route for us and all we have to do is to go ahead in faith and with boldness.
Seriously, ministry is not for the weak-hearted. (took that from maria's blog haha)

In short, all's not about serving but really is the human heart that perceives the service.

=)